On Someone Else’s Misfortune: How Sting Destroyed His Marriage in the Name of True Love

Sting and Styler’s relationship was not without controversy, but they managed to build an enviable marriage.

Sting, born Gordon Summer, met Trudy in 1977 when they met by chance on the street in London’s Bayswater district, where they both lived. At that time, Sting was married to Irish actress Frances Tomelty, and they had just had their first child. Styler was not only a neighbor of the couple, but also a close friend of Tomelty – they had played Macbeth together before.

At that time, Sting was not yet a world famous musician. He had just formed The Police, which was trying to break into the musical Olympus, and was trying to balance career and family life with a newborn.

It’s unclear exactly how Sting and Styler started dating. So far, both of them do not consider that the situation has developed beautifully, and therefore do not like to talk about this topic as a sign of respect for all participants in the drama. But it is believed that a romantic relationship began in 1982.

Although by their own admission, the two fell in love with each other at first sight.

“She had pale green eyes and on her left cheek a bleached streak of scar tissue that writhed like a violent memory of an animal’s claw. Oddly enough, the scar didn’t detract from her beauty in any way, as it looked like a crippled angel to me,” Sting recalled in his autobiography.

The romance developed behind the back of the singer’s legal wife. In 1983, Trudy was already pregnant with Sting and accompanied him on a world tour.

In 1984 their daughter Bridget Michael was born and in the same year Sting officially divorced Tomelty. At that time, they already had two children.

The relationship between the actress and the musician did not arouse public understanding for a long time. Sting’s betrayal, Trudy’s romance with her friend’s husband – all these circumstances are not the best to convince others that you are made for each other.

“None of us are proud of what happened, it just happened,” Styler said.

Sting and Trudy stoically endured sidelong glances and criticism – for 10 years they did not register their relationship and decided to get married only in 1992. The celebration took place in Wiltshire, England. Trudy arrived at the ceremony on horseback, led by her current husband, wearing an embroidered gold Versace gown.

The couple had three more children: however, only one child – the youngest son Giacomo appeared in an official marriage, two more were born in the civil relations of the parents.

Surprisingly, Sting never dreamed of a large family, but said having children was “the happiest event” in his life.

“I never intended to be a father. I accidentally became a father six times – that’s how smart I am,” Sting joked in an interview with People magazine.

In 2022, Trudy and Sting celebrated 30 years of marriage and 40 years of marriage. Meanwhile, they have already managed to become grandparents and are still happily married.

The rocker himself admitted that their long marriage was “some kind of miracle”, and explained the success by the fact that they were not only lovers, but also friends.

“Love is a passion and all that, but loving someone and enjoying their company is something a little different, and it lasts longer,” he admitted.

Spouses give each other personal space, value each other as separate individuals, give each other the freedom to be themselves, and when they are together again, their feelings for each other are electrified.

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