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Maria Watanabe, PC Siqueira’s girlfriend, opens up about the YouTuber’s death: “The greatest pain I’ve ever felt”


The Communicator died in December last year

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Model Maria Luiza Watanabe talked about what the last few months have been like since the death of her boyfriend, YouTuber PC Siqueira, in December 2023, three days before his 28th birthday. According to her, in addition to the pain of losing her, she also had to face attacks from fans and friends, who hold her responsible for her death.

Paulo Cezar Goulart Siqueira, also known as PC Siqueira, died on December 27 last year. He was struggling with deep depression and other conditions which, unfortunately, led to his suicide. Maria was the last person to see him alive and she tried to save him, but to no avail.

In an interview with the magazine Marie Claire, published this Friday 3, the young woman says that her death was the “greatest pain” and that she understands the suffering of other people. “I respect the pain of every family member and every friend, but I also respect my own today. Because no one was there. And the speculation that happened afterwards hurt me. I saw that people had no idea what it had really been and how it had affected me,” she says.

As for criticism, Maria says she tries not to read the messages. “When you say something that comes from your heart, you know it’s true, and you meet so many people going through something that it took you a while to verbalize it, it’s the greatest cowardice in the world. When this happens, I remember the PC itself and everything we experienced. We have the idea that fame is very easy. We think we won’t be affected by the negative, but when you see it, you can’t sleep at night thinking about it. I try not to let these people win, and it’s a hell of a process. They can attack me, say that I was the one who killed… The worst has already happened. There is nowhere else to reach me,” she laments.

The young woman describes the YouTuber as one of the “most special people who has ever passed through her life”. “We went through phases. I was remembering him and it’s hard to think of the good times because it hurts so much. A feeling of sadness comes. Sometimes I prefer not to remember. And sometimes it’s easier to just think about the bad things. I know it’s horrible to say, but this is how we survive. At the beginning of our relationship, we lived a fairy tale. He was in a very chaotic moment and I was in a stable phase. We complement each other. Nonetheless, we had a lot of fun, I got to know a side of him that was funny,” she says.

“I wasn’t a fan, on the contrary. After actually meeting him, I realized he was a great guy. We had stable moments. No matter how much we fought, it felt really good,” Maria recalls.

It also reveals that the hate messages PC received were so many that they were already part of the routine. “He received crazy messages, he had to deal with them every single day. I was also already suffering from depression and at the same time developing deeper depression and anxiety, also because of what he was experiencing. So I really didn’t want to. First of all I wanted Paulo to be well. But there was no escaping it [sair do anonimato] because I need to move. There’s no point in running away, it’s worse. How long would I go without talking about it and stay locked in my room? I said: ‘No, let’s also take the good fruits of all this and try to see life from this perspective,'” the model reflects.

Maria also comments that she had difficulty getting her belongings back from PC’s family after her death, and even needed a lawyer. “I didn’t take anything of mine. Not even a pair of panties. They changed the password on the lock and prevented me from entering the house where I lived for a year and a half,” she reveals.

“I contacted the family again to get my things back, but they didn’t send them to me. I needed a lawyer to mediate and be able to recover part of what I had there,” she explains.

She tells the magazine that a few days ago she returned to live in Sao Paulo, after spending a few days with her mother in Rio de Janeiro, and that she is looking for a new job.

ATTENTION: in case of suicidal thoughts, seek specialized help, such as the CVV (Centre for the Valorization of Life), active 24 hours a day (including holidays) by calling 188, via email, chat or in person. Find out the service station closest to you (Click here).

Source: Terra

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