A study of 40,000 couples sheds light on which factors end up most with marriages
The number of divorces is high in any country and the number of factors causing them is complex. But there is a factor n. 1 to end marriages? Trust me, there is. It’s the lack of respect.
This is exactly what the study of 40,000 couples over four decades underlines, featured in the book “What Predicts Divorce?” (“What Predicts Divorce?”), by American psychologist John Gottman.
According to the researcher’s study, there are four main reasons for divorce:
- • Disrespect
It’s having contempt for your partner, calling them pejorative nicknames, ridiculing them.
- • Excessive criticism
Attacking the character of the partner, criticizing excessively.
- • Defensive
Protect yourself from criticism by accusing the other, always making excuses, not assuming mistakes.
- • Obstruction of communication
Create barriers to communication by ignoring your partner, having no time for conversations, being busy all the time.
Disrespect is number 1
Disrespect is not limited to criticism or saying negative things. Here the thing is more profound, it is when the person thinks he is smarter, morally superior or simply better than the other. This transmits bad energy to the partner.
Interrupting whenever the other person is talking also shows great disrespect, as it doesn’t show the slightest interest in what the other person is saying. When the phrase “He/she does not listen to me” is pronounced by one of the two, the warning signal must be lit in red.
Research also points out that disrespect is more damaging to a relationship than cancer or heart problems.
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Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
