Therapist Adriana Mantana talks about the experience of someone hurting their inner child, usually through parents, in relationships
Mauro was a boy closed in his world. Studious, disciplined and focused. Alice had two children and was the breadwinner of the family. They met through a dating site. It was love at first sight.
Two years later, Mauro decides to break off his relationship with Alice. She got really mean, because she had him as her boyfriend and best friend. She stayed in bed for a week. He didn’t know that this would be the first step of a great transformation in his life.
The emotional relationship can completely change a person’s life, for the better or for the worse. For Alice her pain represented a good thing, because to get out of the bottom of the well she started a course of courses and therapies. She ended up discovering her purpose in her life and completely changed her career.
Many people suffer a lot after the breakup of a relationship, because the wounded inner child that exists within them becomes too attached to the other.
How to “cover” the wound of the inner child?
The first thing to do is look at the relationship with the parents. Generally, when a person is off duty, he wants to be “older” than his parents. He is very fragile in his affective area. Because if she is not small, where she can and must be, that is in front of her parents, she will be small in the couple’s relationship.
So she needs to identify and be very honest about how she feels about her family system. Work out your issues with your father and mother to be free to love sincerely.
What I see most in my calls are people who repeat their parents’ affective model. Why does this happen? It happens because the person has a systemic loyalty to the parents. Even if he doesn’t want to repeat the pattern, if he criticizes, judges, or condemns their relationship, he will.
To get out of painful processes, he needs to get out of judgment and criticism of them. This can be done through therapies, courses, reading books and therapeutic exercises. Making a family constellation alone will not completely solve the problem. The family constellation shows what is wrong, but it is up to the person to seek help in assuming the correct posture.
Big hug,
Adriana Mantana.
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
