A mother is the first person we form a relationship with. From this all the others will be shaped, explains the therapist Adriana Mantana
Sofia had a forceps delivery. Her mother almost died the day she was born. She grew up in a place where everyone treated her differently because she was the only one of hers with blue eyes. She was always very delicate and she got sick very easily.
From an early age, he felt that he was a burden to the family. So, he always tried not to be too much trouble, after all, his mother had too much trouble. I had to support Sofia and 6 other children by myself.
He considered his mother to be a fighter, but when he went to sleep he longed for more affection and love. But Sofia’s mother was always too tired. So, she clung to her small stuffed animal, old and faded, for some comfort before going to sleep.
30 years later. Sofia was sitting on her yellow sofa, remembering her old days. She smiled to herself when she remembered that she still had her stuffed animal.
She married André, a cold and distant man. He worked hard and had little time for her. One day, at breakfast, Sofia noticed that André behaved like a mother to her. I mean, he was distant, cold, and barely had time for her.
It was then that he wanted to understand us a little better, to try to improve his marriage, because if he continued like this, the divorce would only be a matter of time.
The relationship with the mother is a mirror of the love relationship
The maternal complex is formed when the baby is still in the womb. Everything the mother thinks, feels and experiences, the child feels as if it were her own.
A person with a positive maternal complex has high self-esteem, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-respect, self-love and knows how to take care of himself. She prioritizes your well-being and mental health. Some studies on epigenetics with mammals shed light on this question. the author of the book The biology of faith, Bruce Lipton Tell me about it.
And if we turn to systemic concepts, we can talk about familiar repeating patterns. Currently the importance of having a peaceful pregnancy is undeniable, precisely to avoid damage to the child’s psyche. However, this is something far away for most pregnant women in Brazil. After all, women today, in addition to having household chores, have a double shift.
Many go through the pregnancy alone, because the father is not hired or is not present, giving emotional support to the mother.
How to fix?
If prevention is not possible in many cases, it is necessary to remedy. And this comes through therapy. Releasing trapped emotions, identifying and working through unresolved issues with the mother make a difference in all areas of life.
If that doesn’t work, the same thing that happened to Sofia could happen: a repetition of the pattern. After all, the mother is the first relationship, and from this all others will take shape. Furthermore, when the person grows up he is usually treated as his mother treated him.
In this article I am talking about the maternal complex. But don’t get me wrong, the father has his place too.
At another time, I can write about the father complex, because when it is negative, it can generate other emotional problems for the person.
The complex is important because it is structuring. It becomes a problem when it’s negative. When a person has had a complicated relationship with his mother, he is likely to have a negative mother complex. A person with a negative mother complex has low self-esteem, negative self-image, neediness, insecurity, and other symptoms.
I don’t mean by this that a person who feels this way just has a negative mother complex. The truth is, there are many more questions needed for analysis. To talk about the human psyche like this is very simplistic and that is the last thing a human being is.
I suggest that if you notice something isn’t feeling comfortable internally, seek help. Do therapy, courses, read books and delve into your internal world. All the answers are within you, when you seek help, you will be able to understand it more clearly.
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Big hug! Take care with love.
Adriana Mantana.
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
