Who cares for who cares for? Mom, ask for help, the support network is essential

Asking for help and having someone to rely on is important so that fathers and mothers don’t feel overwhelmed.

Psychologist Gabriela Menezes is the mother of 6-year-old Nicholas. Her husband is the only support network on a daily basis so that she can have one-on-one moments, without her son. She misses her, but the lack of her is mitigated by the cooperation of her husband, who encourages her to spend time alone.

The support network is very important to motherhood, according to psychologist and family therapy specialist Suellen Souza. She tells the Earth that a mother can hardly keep her mental, emotional and physical health intact without people around her who are genuinely interested in helping her.

To have quality of life in maternity, it’s okay to ask for help. Gabriela has no one to turn to and, other than her husband, she can only get this support when her mother or mother-in-law, who live outside São Paulo, are nearby.

“I have a longtime friend who I’ve only called once in those six years. What I usually do is, because my husband’s schedule is different than mine, I try to fit in when I have to do things for myself. He is a super partner, so he always encourages these moments ”.

Suellen reiterates that when the mother doesn’t have the support of the child’s father, the burden doubles. “It is possible that she is also able to take care of her baby herself, but this will easily cause damage to her physical and mental health,” she says.

How to ask for help?

According to the specialist, many mothers are ashamed to ask for help. But it is a necessary request.

“Mothers need to clarify what they need. People don’t always know what everyone expects from them, especially in a period following the birth of a child, in which everything changes. Needing help is not a demerit. It is fundamental and necessary, as long as it is not invasive, like someone who dictates what the mother should do, and she does not judge. Ask for help. What is obvious to you is not obvious to someone else.

Guilt free!

The psychologist says that, in a scenario without a support network, it is necessary to enlist the help of nannies or daycare centers, if the economic conditions are there, and there is no reason to feel guilty. “Mothers have to give up on perfection. Well, she will be dedicated to work, sometimes to the baby, and she must also be dedicated to herself. There is no right way.”

How to help a mother?

Suellen says there’s no formula, because every mother and father has a particular request. But making yourself available is the best way.

“She thinks the most important thing in this relationship is to listen to the other party and be available for whatever is needed. People have to accept that every family may require different types of support. The path, therefore, is to respect the particularities without judgment. Offering help, listening to the pain, and avoiding guesswork is already a great way.”

Source: Terra

Ben

Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.