Are you codependent? Discover 7 behaviors that confirm this

Codependency can arise when one individual overly prioritizes the needs of another

Behaviors such as conflict avoidance and having a reduced sense of identity may indicate codependency. There are techniques that can help you develop healthier habits and relationships, which involve establishing a balance between caring for others and yourself.

When there is an imbalance, codependency can arise as individuals overly prioritize the needs of others, neglecting their own well-being. This dependence on others for identity and acceptance can lead to inadequate boundaries and insufficient engagement in enabling behaviors.

Below are seven signs of codependency in relationships and ways to overcome it:

1. Fear of rejection

A person with codependency may strongly fear rejection, leading to a constant search for approval for self-validation. This fear manifests itself in the form of people-pleasing or avoiding the genuine expression of feelings. For example, you may say yes to others even when you disagree, sacrificing your true self in pursuit of approval. This fear-driven habit hinders relationships and personal growth, creating an excessive reliance on the approval of others for security.

2. Difficulty being alone

Individuals with codependency often have difficulty being alone due to a deep fear of abandonment and dependence on others for a sense of identity and self-worth. This can lead you to constantly seek company or distractions to avoid being alone, fearing feelings of emptiness.

3. Allow certain behaviors

A person with codependency may engage in enabling behaviors, inadvertently supporting or maintaining a loved one’s harmful behaviors. For example, if you have an addicted partner, you can: hide his mistakes, provide financial support despite the negative consequences, save him from the repercussions of his actions. Enabling behaviors, even if well-intentioned, often prevent your loved one from facing the consequences of their actions, hindering their personal growth.

4. Avoid conflicts

Individuals with codependency often avoid conflict to maintain a sense of harmony and avoid possible rejection. For example, you might avoid telling your partner or a family member that you are unhappy with something they did, out of concern that it might cause problems. Trying to keep the peace can feel good, but it can mean bottling up your feelings and failing to resolve important issues.

5. Difficulty setting boundaries

Individuals with codependency may have difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries with others, leading to feeling overwhelmed or exploited. For example, you may have difficulty saying no to additional work responsibilities, even when you’re overwhelmed, for fear of disappointing others. This difficulty in setting boundaries can lead to excessive self-sacrifice and a compromised sense of personal well-being.

6. Control issues

Individuals with codependency often struggle with subtle control issues, trying to covertly manage other people or situations to relieve their own anxieties. For example, you might constantly check your partner’s phone or decide who he or she can spend time with. This intense need for control may stem from a fear that any loss of control could jeopardize the stability of your relationship.

7. Lack of personal identity

People who experience codependency often lack a strong sense of identity, often defining themselves through relationships. A small study reinforces this concept, revealing that individuals with codependency struggle to define themselves, behaving like “chameleons” and experiencing a perceived lack of stability. These characteristics contribute to imbalances in different areas of life. This can be especially evident in relationships where excessive adaptation to the opinions and behaviors of others can lead to sacrificing one’s authenticity.

How to overcome codependency

In a healthy relationship there is a balance between independence and interdependence. Individuals maintain their own identity and boundaries while fostering a mutually beneficial and supportive connection. Conversely, codependency can lead to emotional distress and significant challenges in connecting with others.

Here are some ways to overcome codependency and develop healthier relationships.

– Spending a lot of time alone: this offers the opportunity to develop a stronger sense of self and cultivate a fulfilling individual life outside of the codependent dynamic. Pursuing hobbies, taking nature walks, or pursuing individual interests are great ways to promote independence.

-Develop positive coping skills: Positive coping skills, which are healthy ways of managing stress and emotions, play a crucial role in relationships. 2021 research indicates that codependency is linked to negative coping behaviors. Focus on cultivating positive coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness, exercise, or taking up hobbies. These skills improve emotional well-being and reduce reliance on unhealthy behaviors or relationships.

-Establish clear and healthy boundaries in your relationships: Setting boundaries is crucial for people with codependency. One way to do this is to clearly communicate personal boundaries and expectations in relationships. Let’s say your friend calls you late at night, disturbing your sleep. Instead of continually accepting this behavior, you can respectfully hold your boundaries: “I like talking to you, but I really need sleep. Can we schedule our conversations during the day?”

-Practice disagreeing: recognize that significant disagreements do not pose a threat to the relationship; they are opportunities for respectful expression. When you feel like sharing your opinion, go ahead! Use statements that begin with “I” to express feelings without guilt. Suppose a close family member expresses a political opinion that you disagree with. Instead of simply accepting, you could say something like, “I like hearing your point of view [a questão política] and I see where you’re coming from. However, I have a slightly different opinion on this. In my opinion, [compartilhe sua perspectiva]. What do you think? This way, you express your disagreement respectfully, acknowledge his point of view, and invite him into deeper discussions without creating animosity.

-Work on the development of the opening: According to a large 2016 study, the personality trait of “openness to experience” was linked to stress reduction, effective coping, and resilience in spouses of individuals with substance use disorders. For those dealing with codependency, increasing self-awareness and openness to change is crucial. Consider participating in activities that promote exploration, such as practicing daily gratitude and seeking different perspectives.

-Build a support network: Building a social network is vital if you suffer from codependency. It helps break the pattern of depending on just one person for emotional support. Consider, for example, calling an old friend and starting having coffee with them every week, or joining a new club to meet new people.

Source: Psych Central

Source: Terra

Ben

Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.