“He who is happy will create a happy relationship,” says the psychiatrist on the importance of cultivating self-love in romantic relationships Self-love is everything! Building a strong relationship goes far beyond finding someone you ‘get along with’, because to be successful you also need to be at peace with yourself. After all, someone who […]
“Whoever is happy will create a happy relationship,” says the psychiatrist on the importance of cultivating self-love in romantic relationships
Self-love is everything! Building a strong relationship goes far beyond finding someone you ‘get along with’, because to be successful you also need to be at peace with yourself. After all, those who know how to recognize and admit their flaws and, above all, defend their value, are the ones who will have enough confidence to relate healthily to others.
This is what Roberto Shinyashiki, a psychiatrist specializing in relationships and author of more than 30 books, explains. “We say, in therapy, that marriage works for those who don’t need marriage. Dating works for those who don’t need to date. It’s very important that the person understands that anyone who is happy will create a happy relationship,” he stated. he says.
A healthy love
To cultivate self-love, you must first understand the importance of individuality and respect each person’s particular pains. The expert emphasizes that everything that happens in love relationships is only a reflection of what happens internally with each partner. “If a person is depressed, they will bring that depression into their relationship; if they are anxious, that will lead to anxiety. That’s why cultivating self-love is essential,” she describes.
In addition to practicing self-care, you also need to break down false expectations. We must remember that for a relationship to be long-lasting, it requires dedication from both parties, especially since nothing will be wonderful from the start. “People always hope for a relationship that’s like a ‘five-star hotel,’ and in fact this relationship starts out almost like an inn. The two of them build it and it becomes a two, three, four-star hotel, until it becomes a solid relationship. So it’s very important that the two want to build it together.”
Emotional dependence
One of the biggest difficulties people have in loving themselves is not feeling loved by the other person. This has to do with various insecurities that have accumulated over the course of life and which end up taking over the relationship. “This is especially true for women, who are still educated in childhood to make a man happy, with the expectation that if that happens, that man will make her happy too,” Shinyashiki says.
According to him, the consequence of this is a condition in which the woman finds herself at the mercy of this partner, leaving aside all her desires to satisfy the other. “When she realizes this, she sees that she has become a dependent person and, therefore, manipulable by this man, especially if he is a narcissist, one who has learned to manipulate the people around him.”
“The person who feels alone will look to others for the feeling of being loved, so that they will try to reciprocate and give the feeling that the other person is loved too. But no one can make the other person feel loved except themselves. “
Here are some suggestions
The doctor shared some basic advice on how to maintain individuality even within relationships and continue to cultivate self-love and self-care.
- Have friends;
- Have a life of your own;
- Be financially independent;
- Knowing how to say no when you don’t feel like doing something;
- Knowing how to say yes when you want to do something;
- Try creating moments between the two of you and other friends.
“It’s important to develop a mindset of, ‘I’m going to be happy regardless of whether I’m with someone.’ And when you’re with someone, don’t abandon your life, your autonomy, your independence, your friendships, because the person starts to lose ‘self-love when it begins to abandon one’s life.”
Beware of jealousy
Jealousy is another great enemy of self-love. The feeling of insecurity towards the other can negatively influence the way in which the couple resolves conflicts, and it is necessary to be careful of this type of behavior. This applies both to someone who feels jealous and to someone who is dealing with someone who is jealous. “Don’t be tempted to abandon yourself to make the other person happy, especially when your partner is jealous. You have to have a dialogue about jealousy, you have to have a way to help the other person feel safe, but without abandoning your your life, your beauty, your clothes, your way of being Because that was the person the other person fell in love with”, concludes Shinyashiki.
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
