Mourning the idol: the silent pain that needs to be acknowledged

Mourning the idol: the silent pain that needs to be acknowledged


This feeling is something profound and legitimate, even if it is often underestimated by society.

Grieving the death of an idol is often treated negligently or even ridiculed by society. However, the pain for the loss of a figure who, for many, was an emotional companion for years is legitimate and profound. According to psychologist Natália Aguilar, this type of loss is part of the so-called unacknowledged grief. “These are deaths that are minimized by society, which are not seen, which are not even recognised”, explains the specialist.




We recently witnessed the pain of many fans around the world when Liam Payne, former member of One directionis dead. The artist’s fans expressed their grief, which for many seemed incomprehensible. However, for these young people, the pain was real and necessary.

A complex relationship

The relationship between fans and their idols, even without a direct personal connection, is significant and complex. “Even if this idol doesn’t even know that this fan exists, he knows that there are groups of fans who like him, who idolize him, who follow him”, comments the psychologist. Therefore, the bond between fan and idol is not trivial, on the contrary, it arises from the constant search for closeness, both by going to shows and by following that person’s every step on social media.

Mourning the idol hurts as if it were a relative or friend

Natália explains that the experience of grieving for an idol can also be compared to grieving for a loved one, such as a friend or family member. Often, a favorite actor’s song lyrics or movie scenes offer more comfort and understanding than their intimate relationships. “When that connection is lost, the fan feels like an important part of their personal history has been stripped away.”

Common feelings

The psychologist points out that the feelings fans feel when they lose an idol vary, but sadness and the need for a moment of farewell are common. “Often, these public mournings are essential for the fans to be able to process their grief. It is important that they have a moment of farewell, because there they will pay their last respects, or rather say goodbye,” he explains.

Furthermore, in many cases, mourning for an idol becomes a time of introspection for fans. “This is the moment when they begin to revisit memories and understand the importance of that artist in their life. For a fan who finds comfort in the music or art of their idol, seeing society invalidate that pain does nothing but which aggravates the pain. This mourning is not nonsense, it is not nonsense. Sometimes the idol is the closest person this fan has in life”, emphasizes the expert.

Social networks: enemies and allies

Social networks, according to Natália, amplify these emotions, both positive and negative. On the one hand, they allow fans to connect, share their memories and feel supported in their grief. On the other hand, networks can also be cruel, exposing these feelings to ridicule. “On social media you can find people who identify with your moment of mourning… but you can also find haters, who will say it’s absurd”, recalls the psychologist.

It is essential that the club validates the pain of the fans. If this pain is not addressed, the psychological effects can last for years, leading to isolation and anxiety. “I tend to believe that I can’t count on people, so I keep closing myself off more and more,” explains the specialist.

How to deal with mourning your idol?

To deal with grief in a healthy way, the psychologist suggests simple strategies, such as creating a memorial or even writing a farewell letter. “The most important thing is to give yourself the space to experience the death of this important idol,” advises the specialist.

Forever

Finally, the pain of losing an idol can leave an indelible mark on fans, especially younger ones. “Suffering belongs to those who suffer. We are not the ones who have to say that it is nonsense. Because if that person says that they feel, then it is they who have to say it, the feeling belongs to those who suffer. feeler”, concludes Natália.

Source: Terra

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