To take or not to take?  What will happen if you do not take the name of the husband – explains esotericism

To take or not to take? What will happen if you do not take the name of the husband – explains esotericism

When they get married, women increasingly keep their maiden name. This subject can cause disagreements and arguments between spouses. Why do girls want to leave one of the main columns of the passport unchanged and how this can affect their future life, says Yulia Ivlieva, psychologist, esotericist, author of a book and educational programs.

Reasons for not changing your surname

Not so long ago, this problem did not arise at all: it was solved automatically and did not cause disagreements in the couple. Now, more and more often, women do not take their husband’s surname, remaining on their maiden name. Some of the most popular “official” reasons are voiced:

  • you will have to modify a lot of documents – and it is expensive, difficult, time-consuming;
  • unusual, uncomfortable;
  • attachment to the surname – they do not change in memory of someone, or the daughter is the last representative of the family and wants to continue it;
  • I don’t like the surname of the future husband, it sounds dissonant (the wife may not point it out directly).

In fact, if you take a deep look at the history with the surname, the options for its rejection may signal something else. A girl, a wife does not fully accept her husband, and in the relationship there is a kind of reluctance, a disagreement with something. And not taking the name of the future spouse during the marriage is like an accessible way to express your protest, but in an indirect way.

As they say, you take your husband – take him “whole”.

If you ask a girl if she is going to get a tattoo tomorrow and right away, then, most likely, an indignant refusal will follow – this is forever! But the attitude towards marriage is somewhat different. Even if the idea is diffused in society that it is for life, people still insinuate that there is a possibility of divorce. There is such a belief in the subcortex, and it is quite common.

When the spouse insists

It is a logical reaction of a man – for a woman, a future wife, to take his surname. At least in Russia. Yes, there are other countries, cultures, where there is a different approach to different areas of life, including marriage. But in the Russian mentality, it is absolutely normal and natural for a husband to want to transfer his surname to his chosen one. And consent is read internally as a process of trust on the part of a woman and a willingness to build a long and solid relationship with him.

To take or not to take?  What will happen if you do not take the name of the husband – explains esotericism

How does it affect family life when a woman does not change her surname in marriage

Unconsciously, a man perceives such a refusal as a rejection of himself. This can in no way affect subsequent family life. Here, it is rather the hidden reasons for the refusal that play a role, the primary source being reluctance, closeness, conflicts hidden under the carpet, discontent or revenge within the family. All this manifests through the surname and carries a destructive force.

Even if a man says he’s not against his wife not taking his last name, that’s not the case. Yet, deep down, he feels rejection and discontent.

When a wife leaves her ex-husband’s name after a divorce

This situation means that she energetically continues to be married to him. It’s a fairly common story. Energetically, such a couple remains undivided. Next to the wife, the figure of the former “stands” invisibly and takes the place of a possible future husband. And in the event that she wants to remarry, there may be problems in creating a relationship. If the place of the husband is occupied, then a new man can only come under a free function. And this means that he can only assume such roles: a son (especially if there have been stories of abortions before that), a lover or a father.

The role of the spouse is not available because it is “occupied” by the name of the first.

A partner comes, but only sex connects him to a woman. Maybe even a series of men, and the girl wonders why they appear in her life only for sex, and not for a serious relationship. It is clear that there can be several reasons, but one of them is obvious – that energetically the woman is still married, since she bears the name of the previous chosen one.

There are cases when she marries a second time and leaves the name of the former. This initially predetermines conflicts and misunderstandings in a couple – after all, despite the fact that they are technically married, in practice they are in distorted roles. A man here is either a son, and then he has problems with responsibility, personal achievement, income. Or he is a father – and then he takes care, instructs, protects, forbids something, totally supports, says where to go and with whom to communicate, suppresses freedom.

It is clear that the surname is a superficial identifier, a means by which one can determine that there are problems in a relationship. But the root is much deeper.

Also read: Couldn’t find a better one? These star men went back to the women they left behind

Source: The Voice Mag

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