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Here are 8 ways to feel less anxious in situations beyond your control


On an unusual level, people are tired, says the psychotherapist, who suggests they “focus on the present”

THE WASHINGTON POST – One of my patients showed up to a virtual therapy session looking tired last week. She has always been ambitious and worried about injustices. during the session, she sighed as she talked about a meeting in which her colleagues complained of unfair treatment. She said, “I don’t know why they worry about being upset when nothing seems to matter.”

I was worried about your lack of involvement. But then a colleague also seemed equally exhausted. she had passed pandemic help third and fourth grade students with remote school as they try to keep their small business open. She confided to me: “I didn’t follow anything about the war in Ukraine, I just don’t have the energy anymore.”

On an unusual level, people are tired.

In the spring of 2020, as the pandemic started, the question my patients asked themselves the most was: “When do you think things will return to normal?”. Now no one is talking to me about a return to normal. There is a tacit acknowledgment that the chaos we are experiencing may be with us for a long time.

Patients who were concerned about national and world events and who were visibly frightened during the pandemic now look exhausted. the murder of George Floyd it was horrific and mass killings became more and more common. It seems to be in an endless game of “hit the mole”, but in this case the rodents are existential threats.

I have noticed that many patients are experiencing a deficit of optimism and are feeling overwhelmed by important issues beyond their control. I have called it “fatigue of hope”.

People are tired of waiting for the pandemic to end, for the war in Ukraine to end, for the shootings to be brought under control, and for the government to address all these urgent crises. Two in 10 Americans said they trusted the Washington government to do the right thing “most of the time” or “most of the time” during a 2022 poll.

Symptoms of this fatigue are feelings of anxiety, disconnection from reality or giving up.

“People are having a hard time: Covid has put a strain on all of us. And now they’re not sure about the state of the world,” said Paul Slovic, a psychology professor at the University of Oregon who studied risk psychology. and decision making for over 60 years.

Therapists are struggling to help. We try to encourage a sense of hope in patients: that they can feel better, that they are in control, that their catastrophic thoughts can be added to reality. But when a patient complains about the climate crisis and wonders if they should have children or not, it’s a challenge.

Sometimes it is tempting to suffer with them or feel compassion, but this is not productive. I try to validate their concern and explore what it means for each of them personally.

Many of these problems threaten our basic sense of security. My community will be decimated by fires, my children are safe at school, could there be a nuclear war?

“I see a lot of people ‘doing the moves of life’ but because they don’t know what to expect from life, how to stay safe, how to be in control of anything or make a difference in something, like having fun, they end up slipping by some kind of detachment. “said psychologist Judy Levitz, director and founder of the New York City Center for Psychotherapeutic and Psychoanalytic Study.

Human beings need to feel that they have some degree of control. When you take away a person’s sense of security, depression and anxiety can arise. Our nervous system simply wasn’t designed to handle so many seizures at the same time.

Unsurprisingly, 33 percent of Americans reported symptoms of depression and anxiety last summer, compared with 11 percent who reported these same symptoms in 2019, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Here are eight steps to focus your anxiety

Agitating with seemingly unsolvable problems can lead to anxious paralysis, but there is hope. “Just because you can’t solve a problem doesn’t mean you should ignore it,” said Slovic, whose online page, Arithmetic of Compassion, highlights obstacles to decision making. “We are not powerless.”

Here are some of the tips I give to my patients:

1- Take a break from the news. The “apocalyptic feed” (or “doomscrolling”) can be addictive and amplify the tragic nature of events. In one study, researchers found that those who immersed themselves for hours every day in coverage of a Boston Marathon shooting experienced greater acute stress than subjects who attended the event the following week.

“We hypothesize that the graphic nature of the coverage and the repetition of those images triggered intense stress,” said Roxane Cohen Silver, lead author of the study and a recognized professor of psychological sciences, public health and medicine at the University of California.

I advise patients who feel depressed by the headlines to read the news only once a day, turn off phone alerts and, if possible, check social media only sporadically.

Two- take care of you. I tell my patients: “You have to be in combat form to deal with the current turbulence.” This means increasing your resilience by taking care of your nervous system (sleep well, eat well, exercise) and practice positive activities.

3- focus on the present. Practice the habit of grounding yourself in the here and now. Exhausting yourself for the future doesn’t help.

4- Try a breathing exercise. Taking a few deep breaths, such as inhaling and exhaling for a count of five, will help calm the sympathetic nervous system (responsible for the “stay or run” response) and reduce anxiety.

When I offer deep breathing exercises, some of my patients are skeptical, as if I offer some kind of tilelê practice. But I like to remind you that the exercises are based on science. They often report that, at the very least, breathing gives them something to do when they feel their heart rate is increasing.

5- Think about your victories. Remind yourself of what works well in your life, whether it’s your work, friendships, or the cheerful arrangement of plants you watered and grown during the pandemic.

6- Be your own therapist. Ask yourself what in particular makes you hopeless and why? Being able to put into words what bothers you can help you feel less overwhelmed by emotions and more able to process information rationally.

7- Act. Worrying doesn’t help anyone’s mental health, but taking action does. Observe the people around you. Perhaps your neighborhood square could benefit from a basketball court or your church / synagogue could help host a refugee family. When people become involved in local problems, they acquire a renewed sense of optimism.

8- Join forces with a friend. Choose a cause. There are hundreds of non-governmental organizations dedicated to addressing some of the greatest and most persistent challenges on the planet. Donate money to an organization that inspires you or volunteer.

Slovic also offers this advice: “Think more about what you can do than what you can’t.”

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Source: Terra

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