Eliot Page Thinks of Transition Pain: “I couldn’t imagine being old”

Eliot Page shares his experience after coming out as transgender and non-binary in late 2020.

In the guest column for Wear Posted on Wednesday, Page described how he received love and support from many people after his statement, but also “hatred, cruelty and meanness” from others.

Paige described transphobia as “very, very extreme” and addressed the harmful effects of play, explaining that while some may think play is just play, it has an impact and can be harmful. “This is not a joke,” Paige wrote. “You believe what you say. You think. This is not a joke. They believe. It’s clearly not a joke. And we’re just saying, can you just listen and understand the damage it does? That’s all we’re trying to say. as soon as Literally “Everything we tried to say.”

Paige writes in the column that she can relate to the issue of trans people committing suicide, especially at a time when she herself lost a lot of weight and suffered from panic attacks. “There were times when I wished I wasn’t here, but it was just the feeling that stayed with me. It wasn’t a move to action, obviously, except for the ways I abused my body. I looked out my apartment window and thought: Everything that is happening now and how amazing everything is, East How I feel? And I’m twenty-two? this was, I don’t know if I could.”

But when she thinks about what she’s learned during the transition, Paige, now 35, has a clear, positive response: “I can’t overstate the greatest joy that is actually seeing me.” The actor says he knows he looks different from everyone else, “but now I’m starting to look like myself.” Paige, who calls this feeling “indescribable”, writes that “the greatest joy is just being, literally just being”.

remember your time June In the publicity circle, Paige – who was nominated for an Oscar for the film in 2007 – recalls how she wasn’t allowed to choose her clothes for the premiere, while other actors like Michael Serra were given more freedom.

I remember the premiere June “At the Toronto International Film Festival,” recalls Paige, adding that she grew up working in Canada and wasn’t used to the idea of ​​having a stylist. “I dressed the way I wanted to dress, not the way I do now,” Paige wrote, explaining that she realized “the degree of expectation of how beautiful a person must be.” She remembers saying that she wanted to wear a costume and Fox Searchlight told her, “No, she has to wear a dress.”

“And they took me to one of those pretty stores on Blory Street,” Paige said. “They forced me to put on a dress and. . . That was all. and then everything June The press, all the pictures taken: Michael Serra was wearing pants and sneakers. I look at the pictures and I go crazy. . .? ”

Now, when he thinks about the situation, Page writes that he was “extremely spoiled” and shouldn’t be treated “as it happened, this is kind of normal”. The actor emphasizes: “It is like this: Not. Although I am a transfer! I’ve had people apologizing for something: “Sorry, I didn’t know, I didn’t know at the time.” No problem! It doesn’t matter if I’m in a trance or in heaven. Many heavenly women use it like I do. It has nothing to do with it. ”

but June Clearly a huge success, both in terms of overall popularity, people’s love (especially teenagers) for the title character, and in terms of the accomplishments she’s achieved, Paige remembers struggling with food, depression, and anxiety. she thinks it’s “rough”. That you were forced to dress in a way that was not comfortable. “I wish I could go back now and experience this. like me.”

Paige, a memory of her experience at the time pajiboy Due for publication next year, she writes: “I couldn’t imagine myself as an old lady. Obviously. Simply, what is my future? There is no future. That was the feeling. I would literally say: I was never a girl. “I will never be a woman.”

The actor you’ll see in season threeumbrella gym When it debuts on Netflix on June 22, it will consider transferring the type in the future. Paige asks, “Wouldn’t you tell Jay-Z, Rooney Mara, or anyone else to worry about playing straight street women?” The actor says that at the same time, of course, he wants a space where trans people participate as characters in heaven.

For Paige, there is a sense of euphoria in simple everyday tasks, such as waking up, sitting down with a book and actually reading, because at a certain point in her life she experienced a “degree of discomfort” that “interfered”. ” with all.”