Royal etiquette: do’s and don’ts when visiting Elizabeth II

_______________________________

They say that when Yuri Gagarin arrived at the invitation of Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain for lunch at Buckingham Palace, an awkward situation arose: there were so many cutlery on the table next to his plates that he was confused. Legend has it that the first cosmonaut confessed to the queen that he did not know what kind of device he had.

I confuse them myself! the queen answered witty. Let’s eat as we please!

According to rumors, after that, she herself violated the unwritten rule that kings cannot be photographed with ordinary people, and asked Gagarin to take a photo with him as a keepsake.

I took a picture with a heavenly, that is, an unearthly person, and therefore did not violate anything, ”she later explained to reporters.

But what is allowed to Gagarin is not allowed to a mere mortal. HELLO.RU tells you exactly how to behave when visiting the British monarch.

First you need to get to visit the queen, and this can only be achieved by good or large-scale deeds. Ordinary mortals may receive an invitation not to the palace, but to one of the three summer garden parties at Buckingham Palace, or a party in the courtyard of Holyrood Castle in Scotland. These parties were hosted by Queen Victoria. About eight thousand people participate in each of them, the uniform is casual, national costumes are allowed. It is known that ladies come to this event in hats, but they do it rather for their own pleasure. Candidates for participation in the event are nominated by local governments, public organizations, professional communities.

At garden parties, as a rule, Elizabeth II herself and her family are present. Each member of the royal family chooses for himself a certain point in the garden of Buckingham Palace or a route on which he will communicate with guests. As a rule, tea (27 thousand cups), sandwiches (20 thousand) and cakes (also 20 thousand) are served at such events. It is strictly forbidden to touch Elizabeth II and take pictures with her, although history knows cases when loving subjects managed to give her a bouquet or, taking advantage of her confusion, hug the queen. In this sense, in the bustle of a garden party, the atmosphere is more inviting than during protocol events in the palace. Regulars still remember how, in 2009, American first lady Michelle Obama hugged Elizabeth II, and she put her hand on Michelle’s shoulder in response. Later, the wife of the ex-President of the United States wrote in her memoirs:

I did what is natural for me when meeting a new person I like, that is, I expressed my sympathy. I gently put my hand on her shoulder. I didn’t know it then, but it turns out my act was seen as an epic faux pas.

The awkward moment received the same publicity when, in 2017, the King of Spain, Philip, at a meeting absently kissed Elizabeth II on the cheek, who, although she is the fourth cousin of his father Juan Carlos, was not used to such tenderness from foreign monarchs.

And the usual form of greeting when meeting with the British monarch is a slight bow from the man and a curtsy from the woman, but they can be replaced with a regular handshake. This is one of the rules of palace etiquette, which all guests adhere to, including her children and grandchildren. Some visitors, mostly foreign diplomats, but sometimes political, religious and military figures, as well as winners of prestigious cultural awards, are awarded an audience – a one-on-one meeting with the Queen. These conversations are completely confidential and last about twenty minutes. Before the meeting, the assistants of Elizabeth II tell her what topics should be discussed with future interlocutors. The main task of the guests is not to ask the hostess of the house personal questions, not to turn her back on her and not to take pictures of her on the phone. Sometimes the monarch invites guests to stay for lunch. And some are immediately called to dinner. And here the most interesting begins.

We have already written about the minister, who in 2008 stayed for lunch after an important meeting, and, without sorting out the dishes on the table, ate cheese with unusual cookies. It later turned out to be a dog treat that the owner of the house kept for her beloved corgis. No one is immune from such mistakes. But there are well-established rules that everyone who has ever crossed the threshold of the royal residence knows. Firstly, the guest can sit down only after the queen, and start eating only when Elizabeth II herself starts eating. And after she finishes the meal, breakfast, lunch or dinner is considered over for all those present, regardless of their plans in this regard. The queen, being a humane person, usually gives a signal: if she puts her handbag on the table, then the guests have five minutes left to eat. The rest of the royal family, after finishing their meal, put their cutlery on the right side. And if they need to go away for a while, they cross a fork with a knife in a plate – this is a sign that they have not finished eating yet.

The Windsors also have other rules that they adhere to strictly. For example, they fold a napkin in half on their knees, and wipe it with the inside – so that the marks on it are not visible and so as not to stain the clothes. The cup is held by the handle with the thumb and forefinger, and the middle finger is supported from below. According to Business Insider, it is customary in the royal family to hold the fork in the left hand with the tines down, and instead of piercing the food, balance it on the back of the fork and carefully bring it to the mouth. The queen cannot have 13 people at the table. She herself is not superstitious, but she is aware of the existence of such prejudices, and in order not to cause discomfort to her guests, she invites less or more than thirteen guests. She always looks at the menu a week in advance, although all the chefs who serve the royal family know the basic rules: you can not serve dishes from shellfish, shrimp and garlic, as well as pasta, you can cook fish, chicken and vegetables.

In general, Elizabeth II is extremely conservative in food. One of her former butlers said in an interview with the British media that she does not like innovation, and if the chef really wants to cook a new dish, it must be entered on the menu along with the recipe. And most importantly: for breakfast, the monarchy eats only corn flakes, and drinks tea, of course, English. There shouldn’t be any surprises here.

As far as table talk is concerned, Elizabeth II also does not tolerate amateur performance. At official banquets, the most honored guest sits on her right hand, and the next in hierarchy to her left. For the first half of dinner, she only talks to the person on the right. And when hot is served, she switches to the one on the left. Once on the left side was a British racing driver, Formula 1 star Lewis Hamilton, who did not know this rule. He did his best to engage the monarch in pleasant conversation. In the end, the monarch could not stand it and said to him:

No, you first talk to your neighbor on the other side, and I talk to that side, and then I’ll come back to you.

There can be nothing accidental in the seating of the rest of the guests either: there are special people on the staff of the palace who are responsible for ensuring that the guests are seated taking into account their interests, language, and, of course, seniority in age and rank.

And, of course, the guest should not leave the royal reception before the queen. And then they may not be invited anymore.