Finding ways to make the relationship positive for both of you is an essential attitude.
Finding security and purpose in a relationship is what all couples tend to look for in order to maintain the company they share with each other. However, this feeling needs to be nurtured and nurtured for both people to feel fulfilled and content in the relationship. Love between people is only one of the pillars capable of supporting the emotional exchange.
How to maintain a long distance relationship?
When it comes to distance, it’s normal for there to be resistance to thinking about how the relationship can work. Whether it’s work, study, family logistics, or any other reason, many relationships can start out this way or face geographic separation at some point. In this sense, certain attitudes can help alleviate the anguish between couples.
“A couple who is at a distance faces challenges and problems that the other is not by their side, following on a daily basis. Therefore, we must translate, explain and also make the other participate in this life, even from a distance point of view”, explains psychologist and couples therapist, Naiara Vitoy.
Check out the top 10 tips for maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship below.
1. Talk openly about feelings
communication well structured, decisive and generous is the key to maintaining any relationship. When the other person is at a distance, thinking of ways to talk objectively and descriptively about emotions becomes even more fundamental and prevents the creation of divergent scenarios from the reality of feelings.
The expert believes that talking about oneself, in a way that explains the perspective of a given situation, instead of projecting judgments on the other person’s actions, helps both parties involved in the relationship. “It allows this space to also happen for the other person to talk about their feelings, how they feel and their needs. So, it’s feeling and need: how I feel and what I need,” he says.
Understand individual satisfaction
Another point is to talk about the satisfaction of the other within this model of relationship, albeit temporary. “It is interesting to see, in individuality, how much each one really accepts this long-distance relationship; a very frank conversation about it can eliminate future frustrations”, recommends the therapist.
two. Share routine moments naturally
leave the distance lighter, it is important to be naturally present in each other’s lives. Since there’s no option to physically meet more often, it’s important to think of small details that make the other person feel remembered. This helps lessen the burden of distance and exhausting thoughts that involve jealousies and insecurities.
“A good tip to deal with this insecurity and jealousy is to be able to insert this communication, bringing the partner into my routine. When I remember him, send him a photo, naturally”, advises the therapist. “Strictly not the best way, but spontaneously,” she says.
In practice, the couple can share everyday photos, send messages of subtle memories, such as a song, a food, which made the other person see their partner, even from a distance. Also, thinking up a communication routine that makes sense for both of you (for example, a frequent morning phone call) is fine.
Monotony is part of a healthy relationship
On the other hand, it is healthy to understand that, in a affective relationship, you don’t have to build a race to keep the passion burning all the time. “It is a very strong conviction, socially constructed and which, for many couples, especially young couples, is still present, the idea that passion must always exist, and that is not what happens in a healthy relationship, in which individuality it’s preserved, the moment alone, the moment with interests, with friends, without having to be together all the time,” he says.
In a long-distance relationship, the specialist realizes that there is a charge that the people involved need to always feel good. However, he points out that, even together, the pair will go through dilemmas, conflicts and periods of estrangement.
“To be able to maintain this connection, this couple needs to have a bridge between them; they don’t have that physical bridge, but they can maintain an emotional bridge by keeping in touch, not all the time, but by inquiring about what each is experiencing, bringing novelty, letting that the other participates in your life”, he contextualizes.
3. Set dates to meet
Having a set deadline for the next face-to-face meeting is a great ally to reinforce interest in staying in the relationship and relieve the stress of uncertainty in everyday life. “When a couple doesn’t know when they’re going to see each other again, whether in a week or two months, it breeds insecurity and even a feeling, like, whatever, like that’s not a priority; a date on the calendar to be able to find each other, even if we it will take a year, but you will know that, on that date, you will be able to meet again”, indicates the therapist.
4. Make yourself present
Showing that you care beyond routine texting is an action that highlights why the other person is worth keeping in your life. The professional explains that small surprises (such as sending gifts, favorite foods via apps, doing something unexpected, such as a sweet email, looking up places in the city where the other person is and might like and recommending for a visit ) are attitudes that demonstrate affection for the well-being of the other.
5. Explore sexual creativity
A long distance relationship will require a lot of adaptability from both of you. For this it is necessary to have creativity and innovation, which can stimulate new discoveries between the couple. Send photos, videos, make video calls and organize a future schedule refine that part of the relationship, such as a trip, for example, are tactics for sexual exchange between partners and the preservation of desire, underlines the specialist.
6. Avoid addictions
Whether it’s the screens keeping the relationship connected or a development of emotional dependency, the couple must be careful not to lose their lives. It is necessary that the routine of the two is allied to the individual goals and that they meet as a couple, but without taking each other’s time and constantly depositing needs.
“A long distance couple where one is very insecure, always wants an explanation, always wants to know about the other’s life, very worn out for both parties, it’s bad for both. Not just this cell phone addiction, but reflecting an addiction from the love affair,” explains Naiara. Therefore, seeking individual or couples therapy sessions can help you understand this addictive and anxious bond.
Long distance couples enjoy their moments together even more
Finding silver linings that reinforce your interest in being with your loved one while achieving personal goals is a good way to think about the relationship and take full advantage of the other person’s physical presence when it occurs.
“Many couples who are not far away find it easy to meet at any time, and the distance will make this couple create a favorable and unique space: this can also be very positive,” analyzes the therapist.
7. honor the relationship
Not fueling situations that could trigger unnecessary quarrels, conflicts and intrigues is essential for a mature relationship. Rethinking what should or should not be commented, what is the degree of importance of a given event, in order not to negatively intensify details that expose this relationship to fragility, becomes necessary.
Psychologist and specialist Naiara Vitoy perceives this caution as a way to protect this relationship, based on the assumption that the two people honor the relationship they share. “It’s not about withholding information, lying, cheating on partners; this care with information is in the sense of protecting, avoiding unnecessary wear and tear. But, if it’s something important, like interest in another person, it’s important to have mature conversations about it,” he says.
8. Align future goals
It is natural for a couple to talk about expectations for a future life, if there is an interest in starting a family, traveling the world, changing careers. Therefore, it is essential to find out how each sees important issues, such as financial management. On the other hand, the fear of talking about the future can affect many relationships. Fear of making the relationship “heavy” can head off mature conversations.
“On the fear of talking about the future, this can be a sign of something important and very meaningful and very sincere, which is, for example: ‘I’ve been thinking about this relationship, I don’t know if I want to be with this person, if I see myself with that person in the future”. This is important, the other person has the right to know that you are rethinking the relationship, that you are no longer so connected”, considers the psychologist.
Finding a compromise between the two’s personal goals and hopes for the future as a couple is the best way to balance a long-lasting relationship or know when it’s time for each to go their own way.
9. Perform a self-test
Taking care of yourself is also taking care of others. A self observation, which can be done through therapy, is very important to understand yourself more thoroughly. The professional argues that putting on paper how the individual feels first, so that he can then translate this message to his partner, is a way of not polluting this relationship with emotions, tiredness and insecurities. “Perhaps it comes much more from the private world than from the marital relationship,” he analyzes.
The psychologist explains that the fear of talking about the future could be linked to some personal problem. “It’s not just about the relationship, it’s about my life. I can be with one depression, I can be very anxious about my work, so it can be much more individual,” concludes Naiara Vitoy.
10. Keeping the tripod: respect, trust and admiration
Finally, for all the advice to be put into practice, be aware that feelings and care are mutual within the relationship and it is in itself what each couple, long distance or not, must keep in mind.
“Leaving the other person safe is a big responsibility, isn’t it? This security is much more individual. Feeling safe is what each can do for himself, but, in relation to the other, it is the basic package: respect, trust, admiration. It keeps this tripod upright, even from a distance,” concludes couples therapist Naiara Vitoy.
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
