Know: Planning sex is a way to build intimacy in a structured way into your routine, create special moments, and keep sex alive in your relationship
The hectic routine makes it difficult to reconcile schedules. If that’s a reality for work, imagine it for love relationships. It is no coincidence that so many couples realize that they have gone weeks without having sex, for example, or without spending quality time together. That’s why the idea of scheduling sex is a great way to solve problems like this.
It may seem like an exaggeration, but putting sex on the agenda is perhaps the best way to prioritize the relationship and maintain the sexual health of the couple. Let’s understand more about the topic with the help of Claudia Petri, Pedagogue with specialization in Clinical Sexology and member of SBRASH (Brazilian Society of Human Sexuality).
SEX LIFE: THE DIFFICULTIES
It’s not a rule that every couple will experience a drop in the frequency of sex over the course of their relationship, but cases like this are common. There are many factors that contribute to this, but one of them involves some studies showing that sexual desire becomes responsive, rather than spontaneous, after a while.
“This means that, over time, it is necessary for the individual and/or couple to learn to ‘work’ with sexual stimuli so that, after this stimulus, our body responds with sexual desire,” he explains.
According to the professional, this fact is enough to solve many doubts we have about sex – even for people who say that “they could go their whole life without having sex”. In fact, what happens, in most cases, is a lack of knowledge about sexual desire itself and how it works.
THE EFFECTS OF HAVING LESS SEX IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Sex life does not define a healthy romantic relationship, but an inactive sex life between two sexualized (i.e., feeling sexual attraction and desire) people can lead to friction.
Conflicts usually revolve around frequency, mostly. It is common for one party to want to have sex more often than the other, and this discrepancy can lead to distance between the parties and even avoidance of sexual interactions.
“It’s also important to note that, for the most part, for many men, acceptance of sex is a sign of love or validation,” she says. “But for many women, the context they’re in is very important to accepting sexual interaction.”
The social context also comes into play here. After all, it is normal for men to seek sex to relax, but women tend to accept and seek sex when they are relaxed. This speaks volumes about how society has been constructed, after all, there is an age-old history of men seeking forced sex, and the level of trust and intimacy needed for a woman to open up sexually can vary greatly due to of this.
DOES SEX PLANNING WORK?
“This has been a technique used by many couples,” explains Claudia. “In this planning, in this programming of a sexual encounter, it is possible to organize the couple’s routine so that this meeting takes place in the best possible way.”
Scheduling someone to be with the kids, releasing the work schedule, and even scheduling a date from start to finish, are ways to make sex official into the routine and keep the topic (and the act) fresh in the couple’s mind.
“For other couples, however, this could have the opposite effect, they could say it would take away the spontaneity of the moment,” she explains. “But the really important thing is to identify what works for you and your relationship. The experience is always worth it.”
ADVANTAGES OF THE SEX PROGRAM
In addition to what has already been mentioned, it is important to reiterate that planning a sexual encounter can bring a level of physical and mental preparation that transforms the experience into something even more special.
“It’s thinking about that lingerie that makes us feel more confident and beautiful, thinking about shaving, if this is something that doesn’t bother you during sex, thinking about those spicy messages that can be sent during the day to liven up the encounter afterwards or simply to, if possible, go out a little before work for that relaxing bath”, explains the professional.
However, it’s also worth pointing out that communication is essential to any relationship, whether meetings are scheduled or not. Putting the date on the agenda can do wonders for busy routines and guarantee intimate moments, but it’s not enough to fix the lack of communication, especially when it comes to sex.
Dialogue will help align expectations, resolve conflicts, and even help the couple understand what has changed over time and what each party is looking for in bed and in the relationship. For example, if you are looking for different experiences, it is always worth trying to vary the positions or even resort to erotic toys.
“I highly recommend getting to know the erotic market, where the couple can experience different sensations and flavors in the relationship, and also getting to know the sex toys that are there with a lot of technology and a lot of safety, ready to offer health and sexual pleasure, as well as fun of course After all, isn’t that what toys are for?”, he concludes.
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
