In an emotional report, Patrícia Pontes talks about discovering her children’s diagnosis, atypical motherhood and how she lives one day at a time
Patrícia Pontes, 39, has five children: Eduarda, or Duda, as the 16-year-old teenager is affectionately called, and quadruplets who will turn 9 in June. Maya, Rafaella, Gabriel and Leonardo are the fruits of Patrícia’s second marriage and in vitro fertilization. Here, in an emotional statement, this mother recounts what it was like the risky pregnancy, the discovery that the four have cerebral palsy, as well as other intercurrents experienced since then.
He was working as a digital influencer on the profile @pattypontes that Patrícia has begun to reconcile her career, her routine with her family, her children’s therapies and an intense daily life. Read the full story below:
“My name is Patrícia Pontes, I’m 39 years old, I graduated in Pedagogy and I’ve always worked in a multinational company before getting married.
My first pregnancy was very desired, planned, I wanted to be a mother from an early age. By the time I was 20, I had been in a relationship for four years and stopped taking drugs. I got pregnant at 21 and i ended up separating when duda was 1 year old.
In the second pregnancy, a result of another affair, my husband had fertility problems – he didn’t have enough sperm for a natural pregnancy. When we started living together, he talked about his desire to be a father (he too came from a divorce and the fertilizations performed with his ex-wife didn’t work). I also wanted, I wanted a second child, but we knew he was going to require IVF.
So, we did it and, in the first attempt there in Bauru, where we lived, it worked. We implanted three embryos: one of them was not good, in the eyes of medicine, and had only a 5% chance of “getting revenge”. But, fortunately, it caught on and, of the three embryos, one doubled.
Discovering the pregnancy of quadruplets
The discovery was very gradual. When I did the blood work, the lab said it could be twins, due to the Beta hCG count. At the first ultrasound (I think I was twenty) we were already seeing triplets and so it was until the fourth month when, during a hospitalization, the doctor asked me to do the morphological ultrasound. There, the fourth head appeared for the first time.
This pregnancy has been a bit complicated, because, with less than a month, I had a placental abruption and have already been put to bed because it is considered a high-risk pregnancy. There were two girls and two boys: Maya, Rafaella, Gabriel and Leonardo.
The delivery took place on June 7, 2014 and their birth went well: I was already aware that they would be born premature, with a low birth weight and that they would have to stay in the intensive care unit (ICU) for a while. In total, the boys spent 37 days in the hospital, Maya 38 and Rafa 50.
the first signs
When my kids were six months old, I began to suspect that something was wrong with their development, because they still did not sit down. Two succeeded and two didn’t, without any cervical check… I then sought help, but the doctors said it was due to prematurity and the fact that they were multiple. That everyone would go in his time and that everything was fine.
We started doing physiotherapy, but we had to stop and only went back to nine months, because in the meantime the Gabriel had bacterial meningitis and spent 71 days between life and death in the hospital. There were three head surgeries, ICU admission and he passed away as a newborn due to meningitis, which led to hydrocephalus.
diagnosis of cerebral palsy
The diagnosis came when we moved to São José dos Campos and I started taking them to the AACD (Association for Assistance to Disabled Children), in São Paulo, an hour and twenty away.
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“I really couldn’t accept that there was nothing wrong, that the developmental problem was only due to prematurity”
At two and a half years none of them could walk yet. and we started seeing orthopedists, physiatrists, doing a series of exams… Until they called me to conclude. Then the physiatrist said to me: ‘Mom, what is your question?’. And my question was why they weren’t walking yet. The answer was that all four had cerebral palsy.
My first reaction was to deny it, which is what we do when we get bad news. This physiatrist then said that she did not have time to convince me that my children had cerebral palsy. That I would take that information and deal with it when I received it.
Other health complications
In addition to the meningitis Gabriel had when he was six months old which caused hydrocephalus, when Rafaella was one year and five months old, we found out she had craniostenosis [fechamento prematuro de uma ou mais suturas cranianas]. She had to have surgery on her head, which left a scar from ear to ear. At three years, we found out he had one heart disease. We were living in Salvador at the time and we came to São Paulo to have her operated on, because it was a serious case.
At five years old, we discovered a mole on Maya that was already cancerous and had to be removed and grafted. Later, we still operated on adenoids and tonsils in girls and phimosis in boys.
Two years ago, Gabriel was diagnosed with autism and, a month and a half ago, with intellectual disability and epilepsy. Rafaella has level 2 cerebral palsy, Leonardo has level 3 and Maya, in addition to cerebral palsy, has ADHD and a speech disorder.
One day at a time
The separation from the father took place when the children were almost four years old and my fears were mainly economic and related to how I would go to work. I knew that in any CLT job I would be questioned and, hardly any company would give me a chance. No sooner said than done. It was then that I asked God to show me a path where I could work and be with my children. here it is Internet for me, it ended up working. I can manage their therapies, our home and my daily life.
I think I’m in the best phase of my life. I have nothing to complain about, on the contrary… Only thanks. Today I manage to have one person who helps me from Tuesday to Friday, who is Bárbara, and the other days I stay with them. I don’t think about the future. I learned to live one day at a time, I don’t care what I can or can’t do tomorrow, because he doesn’t belong to me.
[quote]”I’ve made so many plans in life and it’s not at all what I planned or what I wanted.”
I let God control my life and that way it seems like everything just flowed. I live as if it were the last day of my life and theirs… I do everything possible and impossible not to miss anything for the five. I guess that’s why I’m here on Earth, to take care of them and make them happy. For me, in my eyes, they are perfect.”
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
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