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“It’s not charity, I want a family,” says the couple who adopted the teenager


The teacher and computer technician who adopted a teenager in Natal (RN) defends the legal adoption process and encourages research on the subject

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Adopting a child was already being considered by the teacher Luana Costa, 33, and computer technician Alexsandro Costa, 36. But it was at Christmas 2021, after reading a letter from a child sent by the Acalanto project, that the couple sought legal means to make this wish come true. The Adoption Support Group in Natal, Rio Grande do Norte works as a non-profit organization dedicated to fighting for the cause.

“It was very touching for us. Luana cried a lot, then she read me the letter, I started crying too and said: ‘So, is this our next adventure?'”, says Costa, in a interview with Earth, for this May 25, known as National Adoption Day. Decided, the couple entered the legal process in January 2022 and saw that the project was much more complex.

“We had that vision of, like, ‘I think it’s good to adopt, I want to adopt.’ But when we start the process, the first thing that breaks is this: It’s not a charity process, ‘I want to do good for the world.’ It’s more ‘I want a family, a son, a daughter and I’m going to look for someone who does,'” they warn.

Although the requests for adoption are lengthy, their processing has been faster: in October they began contact with visits and tours, then, in January of this year, their teenage daughter began living in the temporary custody of the two . Both believe that soon the judge will formalize the custody.

Merit of the chosen age range: Luana and Costa have opted for a child or adolescent between 7 and 14 years of age, a cut rarely sought after by parents who want to adopt. According to data from the National Council of Justice (CNJ), consulted this Wednesday (24), there are 4,374 children available for adoption and 34,020 suitors.

The long queue can be explained precisely by the fact that the vast majority of those welcomed are preteens or adolescents and are part of groups of brothers. Most of the families in the program prefer to adopt younger children without siblings.

For the couple from Natal, on the other hand, this was the most compatible age group, given that Luana works until late at night and Costa usually goes out for technical visits. “Being a teenager he manages to organize himself”, points out his father.

self-knowledge is the key

In addition to emphasizing the importance of considering the child’s needs, the couple stress that attention should be paid to financial and emotional conditions before taking this step. In this sense, Luana’s recommendation is self-knowledge.

Alexandro and Luana are in the final stage of the process to claim definitive custody of their daughter

“We have to recognize our limits, know what we can provide, what we want from this family in order not to go beyond our possibilities and cause more frustration on both sides,” says the teacher, who recommends psychological support whenever possible.

“It’s not just the child or adolescent who adapts, we, the father and mother, are also adapting, taking a deep breath to see how to deal with certain situations. This refers to the choices, in my case, my ideal of a mother, my possibilities for motherhood, there is a whole question of what I want and can be as a mother, which are reflections that have to be done individually”.

Another piece of advice highlighted by Costa is to study. As he points out, there is a large literature on the subject, as well as support groups, such as Acalanto itself, in Natal, scattered throughout the country.

Legal adoption is the only way

The search for information can also distance families from irregular adoptions. “It’s a shortcut that doesn’t apply either to those who adopt it or to those who give it away because there’s no way to verify if the person is suitable to receive the child,” defends Costa. The technician points out that justice already has the means to facilitate the processes that already take place in society, such as adoption by kinship and donation in maternity leave, in addition to the conventional procedure they have followed.

Those who follow the regular procedure go through psychological, physical and economic evaluations that aim to prepare the parents for the moment of adoption – underlines the couple: they are not just flowers. But depending on Costa, the family can still grow. “I’m trying to convince Luana to adopt another one,” she admits.

How to adopt a child

As clarified by the National Council of Justice, the first step for those who want to adopt a child is to apply to the Court or to the Child and Youth Court of the city or region, equipped with a list of documents (check which ones here). Subsequently, the material will be registered by the notary and sent to the Public Prosecutor’s Office to proceed with the action.

After this stage, candidates will be assessed by an inter-professional team from the Judiciary. The objective is to evaluate the motivations and expectations of the candidates, their socio-family reality, guide them in the process, among other things. Next, applicants are required to participate in an adoption preparation program.

Subsequently, based on the psychosocial study and other criteria, the judge will accept or reject the application for adoption. Once approved, the family finally enters the National Adoption and Reception System and a search is carried out for children and/or adolescents whose profile corresponds to that defined by the applicant.

Once the child has been found, the phase of approaching and living together begins, which can last 180 days. Finally, once this term has expired, the candidates have 15 days to propose the final adoption deed, which will be evaluated by the judicial authority.

Source: Terra

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