Unrequited love: what to do and how to overcome it

Change your frame of reference and find ways to overcome unrequited love and find fulfillment in your emotional relationships

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Unrequited love can make us feel rejected or feel not enough. Sometimes it seems that that person is up there, big, unattainable. And we, small and helpless, empty and sad. How to deal with this pain and change this reality?

Let’s say you have two doors in front of you. Enter one of them. In this place everyone starts looking at you with affection and admiration, complimenting you and telling you how much they like you.

Leaving this place, you enter the other door right next door. Here everyone looks at him with contempt and recrimination. They say they don’t like you, that you’re horrible, bad and despicable. You leave this position and look at the two doors in front of you again.

You ask yourself: who am I: the wonderful person or the despicable person? The answer is: you are you. Exactly the same person visited these two places.

When you rely on the external frame of reference, it becomes confusing. Doubt yourself. But if the reference is internal, you will not allow yourself to become inflated with praise, nor wither with negative criticism, because you know who you are.

He likes praise and is uncomfortable with criticism. You can also take this into account for a self-evaluation. But your regard and feelings for yourself are not externally determined.

If we know who we are, we don’t let that affect us too much.

Focus on yourself when dealing with unrequited love

It can be difficult to focus on ourselves and know who we are, when the media, the competitive climate, the way the outside world works, all send our frame of reference outward.

Even without realizing it, we constantly compare ourselves. We are emptying ourselves, withering without even realizing it. Self-esteem disappears and we try to fill ourselves and make up with something more than what the outside world tells us is good, beautiful, beautiful.

But the pain of not being reciprocated in love can be the impulse to go within oneself. The opportunity to discover ourselves, get to know each other more, fill us with truth and thus strengthen ourselves through reciprocated love.

Where is your expectation and reality in this unrequited love?

The pain also arises from the expectation of love that we projected and did not materialize. We have the feeling that the other person has taken away the possibility of love from us and that, after all, there is no way they won’t respond.

When we fixate too much on a person, we may have created a platonic love. In this case, we project onto the other person something that we want to have or be.

But the possibility of loving and receiving love continues to exist. That person out there could be the symbol of that desire right now, it seems like it’s one thing: my desire and the person. But the wish is yours.

Nobody can take it away from you. It is essential to know how to discern your desire from the person out there and remember that no one can take away what is yours inside.

Do you have hairline wounds?

Everything that has been invented in this world has been because someone believed and remained firm in their idea, even in the face of failures and frustrations. If loving and being loved is what you truly desire, then instead of suffering for others, waiting for love outside, dust yourself off and start looking inside.

If the pain of this experience is too intense, you need to look even deeper inside, as it signals some kind of subtle wound, on an emotional, mental and/or spiritual level. Show yours I hurt.

Perhaps this whole experience is happening as a calling to heal these wounds. You need to know them better to be able to treat them.

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First steps to overcome unrequited love

What is your biggest pain in this experience? How do you see yourself when you go through it? What scares you most or what would you like to avoid? Why? Do you remember other times when you felt this same feeling?

It can be a wound linked to rejection, to not believing that someone could be interested in you, to not being able to be someone worthy or worthy of love, to not accepting that the other person might not like you, to the pain of those who prefer to stay with someone anything else and you feel neglected, for example.

You will realize that your wounds are actually a set of distorted feelings and beliefs about yourself, love, and life, forming a web in which you end up trapped in unrequited love.

Just as a wound on the body needs to be treated so that it does not become infected and inflamed, a thin wound needs attention so that it does not get worse.

Despite the discomfort, allow yourself to get in touch with the unpleasant sensation. You can also close your eyes and feel which parts of your body endure this discomfort. Breathe, focusing on these places, and let the pain come and go. You can do a purifying meditation to help cleanse this wound of unrequited love.

A wound on the body requires time and continuous care until it heals. Heal even subtle wounds. So be patient, persist and move forward.

It’s part of the healing strengthen your self-esteem, then look for your own ways to do it. Respond to the love within you first.

The mail Unrequited love: what to do and how to overcome it appeared first Personalize.

Akamatsu chickpeas (ceciakamatsu@gmail.com)

– Energy Therapist, provides remote consultations via Personare. She is the author of the book Para que o Amor Aconteça, from the Personare Collection.

Source: Terra

Ben

Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.