The retiree “doesn’t retire” and makes the discovery after a 30-day silent retreat
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George Jerjian is a writer with 10 published books, as well as a professor at the University of Bradford, England. Now 67, he had a health problem that nearly killed him in 2015, forcing him into premature retirement.
“I had to quit my job and retire early to prioritize my health. My health improved, but the rest of my life didn’t. In retirement I felt bored and aimless, and my relationships suffered. I started wondering if life was just like that,” he recalls.
Seeking answers, he attended a 30-day silent retreat at St. Beuno, a former Jesuit seminary in north Wales that is now a spiritual retreat center.
After retiring, he learned four specific lessons for leading a happier, regret-free life.
1. Trying to control your results will make you unhappy
“Before the retreat, I was a control freak. The idea of ’letting go’ in any part of my life was out of the question. But during an exercise at St. Beuno, I was asked to think about what I really had the control. I realized that even one unexpected event could throw my life into chaos. I reflected on how much time I spent worrying about outcomes that I couldn’t predict or control,” he recalls.
“Now, when I want something good to happen, I imagine that it has already happened and I am grateful for it. This mentality helps me move forward. By focusing on the next steps, I no longer focus on the outcome.”
2. If you’re not grateful, you’re not thinking clearly
Research has shown that gratitude blocks toxic emotions such as envy and regret, reduces stress and improves happiness.
“During the retreat, I was going through a difficult period in my life. At one point, I was asked to reflect on all the houses I had lived in and what good and bad had happened there. I realized that no opportunity in my life could have emerged without the previous crisis, then I should cherish every moment,” says George.
Try this exercise: list all the best moments in your life or the moments you are most proud of. Then, next to it, list the difficult moment that gave you the skills or created the opportunity to achieve those goals.
3. To find purpose, follow your passion
“Money has always been first in my career. I have never stopped to ask myself things like, ‘What job should I do based on my interests and feelings?’ However, during the retreat, I had nothing to think about other than my feelings,” she says.
Three weeks into the retreat, George burst into tears thinking about all the people he had hurt in his life.
“But on the last day, the tears came from a place of joy and love. I realized that my true fear was hurting others and that my passion was helping people. In the years since retiring, I have chosen to “retire” and serve retirees with my coaching business.”
Ask yourself, “What am I most afraid of? In what activity do I completely lose track of time?” Try answering these questions five times and give a different answer each time. The answers may surprise you.
4. We are not always who we think we are
“For 60 years, I built a person based on what my parents, teachers, employers, partners, and friends wanted. I never thought about who I was beyond these external pressures. I spent decades lost and ashamed of who I really was. Think about whether there is something in you that you hide from the world. Try to embrace it. For me, it was kindness and understanding that changed my life,” he concludes.
Source: CNBC Make It
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
