This behavior is a kind of defense mechanism against one’s own happiness.
Self-sabotage is a term used when a person adopts behaviors, or omits them in certain situations, creating barriers that prevent them from achieving a goal. In general, it is something unconscious: the person wants to achieve their goals, but there are so many negative thoughts associated with this desire that they end up acting in the opposite direction.
The attitude or omission may concern relationships, work, study, or personal finances, among other aspects of life. It is common for self-sabotage to originate from past difficulties or traumas, such as prejudice and family problems, creating a sort of defense mechanism against one’s own happiness.
Signs of self-sabotage
A person can sabotage himself in many different ways. While some signs are almost “obvious,” others can be a little more difficult to recognize. See some examples:
1. Hold others accountable
Bad things often happen without anyone’s fault. If you tend to find fault elsewhere whenever you encounter difficulties, it’s worth paying more attention to the role you played in what happened.
For example, the person observes some behavior in the relationship that affects the couple, thinks that this will not change and ends it. However, if you don’t take the time to explore how he may have contributed to the relationship’s problems, he will end up sabotaging her chance to learn from the experience.
2. Get off when the obstacle appears
There are valid reasons to change course, but such a widespread pattern could indicate something else. Doubts about one’s ability to succeed or maintain a stable job can lead a person to do things that hinder their performance or prevent them from thriving.
3. Always procrastinate
Have you ever found yourself “stuck” in front of an important task? Motivation can disappear completely and you end up avoiding this task. Procrastination can occur for no apparent reason, but it can be the result of doubts a person has about their abilities.
4. Break down
People often set much higher standards for themselves than for others. When you fail to achieve these “goals,” you may end up being very hard on yourself, saying things like, “I’m not doing anything right.”
5. Omit your own needs
Some people may have difficulty speaking to themselves, making it more difficult to meet their needs. This can happen in family situations, among friends and, often, at work.
How to put an end to self-sabotage?
To break this cycle, it is important to recognize that there is a difficulty, that even if you want something, you cannot achieve it because you have probably already created barriers to do so.
The second step is to seek support to overcome this behavior. At this time, trusted people, such as friends, family and co-workers, can help. Sometimes specialized support, such as therapy, is also needed.
It is also essential to work on self-esteem. This doesn’t mean that those with high self-esteem can’t self-sabotage. However, lower self-esteem tends to create a greater risk of self-sabotage.
Finally, it is also interesting to pay attention to social networks, since comparisons between people are frequent, which can worsen the behavior of those who sabotage themselves.
Sources: Healthline and VerywellMind
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
