What, today is a holiday?  3 types of men who ruin our Valentine’s Day

What, today is a holiday? 3 types of men who ruin our Valentine’s Day

We dissect and analyze three categories of men who are no more useful on Valentine’s Day than an inflatable banana.

Men approach Valentine’s Day differently. Individuals most adapted for survival and reproduction have long accepted this bright celebration of the unity of love and marketing. Every year, on February 14, they obediently queue up with the same flowers, suitable for prices multiplied by three, to bring them to the feet of the One and Only. With candy. And with a new bag. And not just any bag, but a bag, the link to which was sent to the suitable one a month before the vacation.

But there are still representatives of the male gender who continue to resist the holiday with all their might. They view the fight against Valentine’s Day as their personal crusade. They are even ready to suffer on this campaign: losing their favorite place at the family table and, let’s not be afraid of these words, marital intimacy.

We’ve divided Valentine’s Day opponents into three categories, based on the reasons they reject the holiday. We’re happy to share this list with you – and we hope your personal Valentine doesn’t fall into either of these types.

Traditionalist

“Why celebrate Valentine’s Day when there is a wonderful Russian holiday – the Feast of Peter and Fevronia?” – the traditionalist asks every year when you let him know that the day of collection of the love tax is approaching. A possible answer to this question is:

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“Because, my dear, the day of Peter and Fevronia will only take place in six months. And I want a new bag now. NOW, I said, honey.

Because if you show weakness and refuse Valentine in favor of Peter and Fevronia, you will end up, with an unfortunately high probability, not receiving flowers, sweets or even a kokoshnik.

Because the traditionalist, having postponed the celebration on February 14, manages to warm up in the sun on June 25 – the day, in fact, of Peter and Fevronia – and completely forget about his promises.

Ironic

A man who considers himself witty is every woman’s purgatory, but what can you do if you don’t order estrogen. On Valentine’s Day, such a man shows himself in all his glory. After all, he does not congratulate you randomly, but ironically. That is, it gives: the ugliest rose, sprinkled with acidic glitter; the largest plush toy in the warehouse of the plushchudo.rf store; sweets used to give bribes in the USSR in 1987.

Moreover, he presents all this with a broad satisfied smile, even a wink: look, how witty I am, congratulations ironically – not like everyone else. You, equally witty, are expected to start laughing loudly or at least blinking in response. And maybe if you’re 20, that’s exactly what you’ll do. But the older a woman gets, the less she wants to pretend that irony is a miracle and a pleasure. But you want more and more beautiful flowers, delicious treats and cool gifts.

And even if someone calls this approach simple, even mercantile, we would watch that person try to find a place in the house for a huge stuffed pink bison.

What, today is a holiday?  3 types of men who ruin our Valentine’s Day

Deny

The worst guy of all. If the two previous comrades still hide behind Peter, Fevronia and Irony, this one acts as if nothing had happened. Nothing at all.

He stubbornly claims that February 14 is the most ordinary day on the calendar. And when, on the evening of February 13, you meaningfully ask: “Do you remember tomorrow? the person in denial, without blinking a single part of their body, will respond “Monday”. In addition, if the denier is characterized by increased dishonesty, he will also begin to clarify: “What is your birthday? Our anniversary? Fifth day of the lunar cycle?

And when, having lost your patience, you kindly bark: “Actually, it’s Valentine’s Day,” you will hear an unimaginable and scandalous response. “Well, is it really a vacation?”

No, think about it! A cousin’s funeral turns out to be a holiday that you can come back from on autopilot and take the next day off, but Valentine’s Day is not a holiday! Despite the fact that, judging by the stories, the cousin was not even close to a saint.

Fortunately, the Valentine denier is a dying breed of human. One or two educational conversations are enough, and since the morning of February 14, yesterday’s denier has been moving impatiently from one foot to the other, waiting for the florist to open. Well, those who persist in their ignorance risk finding themselves not only without a Valentine, but also without a couple. Because few women tolerate such sacrilege. I want a bag.

What to do?

Did you find your chosen one among one of these ungrateful guys? We could advise you to run away with your dog and your three children, but we understand that this advice is unrealistic. And we advise you this: on Valentine’s Day, entrust the dog and the children to a traditionalist, ironic or denialist, rent a hotel room and spend Valentine’s Day alone with yourself. Pamper yourself with a bubble bath and room service – you can do it at the same time. However, you can also organize such a day off at home yourself. After all, if a representative of the masculine who is next to you refuses to congratulate you, this is not yet a reason to deprive yourself of vacation.

Scenario for a perfect Valentine’s Day

  • House cleaning;
  • you cook his favorite dinner;
  • rehearse an erotic dance for him;
  • you embroider him a tie as a gift;
  • you wake up sweating and realize with relief that you dreamed the whole thing.

Source: The Voice Mag

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