Experts explain how to deal with this moment without harming your mental and physical health
In a video posted on Instagram, Iza said that she was cheated on by her boyfriend, footballer Yuri Lima, and that they are no longer a couple. “[…] He cheated on me. I can’t believe I’m saying this […]”, she said. The relationship lasted just over a year and the singer is pregnant.
Cheating during pregnancy isn’t exactly uncommon, which leads some people to wonder if men are actually more likely to cheat on their partners during this time. According to a study in the Journal of Clinical Medicine, 1 in 10 expectant fathers cheat on their partners, and the odds of this happening increase as the pregnancy progresses.
According to Claudia Petry, educator specialized in Sexual Education at the Federal University of Santa Catarina (UFSC/SC) and member of SBRASH (Brazilian Society for the Studies of Human Sexuality), there are several factors that lead a man to cheat on his partner during pregnancy, including immaturity and the inability to deal with the physical and emotional changes of the woman, and even the psychological escape of becoming a father soon.
“In any case, there is absolutely no excuse for a man to cheat during pregnancy. On the contrary, this is the time when he should be closest, regardless of any problems,” says the specialist in female sexuality at the USP Medical School (FMUSP).
Damage of cheating on the health of pregnant women
For psychologist Monica Machado, founder of the Clínica Ame.C, specializing in Psychoanalysis and Mental Health at the Teaching and Research Institute of the Albert Einstein Hospital, the pain of betrayal can be devastating for pregnant women, causing feelings of humiliation, anger, sadness and frustration.
“A gestationin itself, is already a universe of physical and emotional changes, and the added stress that comes with betrayal can negatively impact maternal and fetal well-being, making the time even more challenging,” she adds.
Dealing with Betrayal
Below are some tips that can help you deal with and manage infidelity during pregnancy, minimizing the damage to the health of the mother and the baby.
1. Don’t repress your feelings
According to Claudia Petry, many women feel ashamed and even foolish for having been deceived. “Do not hesitate to ask for support, both from family and friends. Talk, vent, cry, curse… Allow yourself to feel and vent all your emotions, until you understand that it is not your fault, so you do not owe anything to anyone,” she clarifies.
two. Prioritize your health and that of your baby
The psychological suffering of the mother can harm the formation of the fetus, according to Danielle H. Admoni, general and child and adolescent psychiatrist, researcher and supervisor at the psychiatry residency of UNIFESP.
“Stress causes changes in the brain development of children while they remain in the womb, causing neurobehavioral deficits, motor coordination problems, increased emotional reactivity and language delays, in addition to the risk of premature birth”, underlines the expert from the ABP (Brazilian Association of Psychiatry).
Additionally, women can be affected by it. depressionwhich can also appear before birth, at the end of pregnancy. The symptoms are similar to those of common depression, such as sadness, apathy, feelings of guilt, insomnia and even lack of interest in the child.
“The tendency to depression depends on the interaction of several aspects, including genetics and hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy and the postpartum period. But external factors also contribute to motivating the disorder. In this case, betrayal completely unbalances the emotional structure of the mother, since the partner belongs to this new reality and his support would be essential for a healthy pregnancy”, says Danielle Admoni.
Hence the importance of having psychological or psychiatric follow-up, in addition to reporting everything to the gynecologist and obstetrician, who should provide more careful prenatal care.
3. Talk to women who have had the same experience
It’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Claudia Petry says there are many women who have been through the same thing and have managed to maintain healthy relationships with their children’s fathers. “They’ll be able to offer practical support and advice based on their own experiences,” she says.
4. Step out of the scene for a while
Take a break from your life. Spend time at your friend’s beach house or family farm. “Now you need fresh air to breathe, meditaterecharge your energy, connect with your thoughts and put your ideas into action,” advises psychologist Monica Machado.
According to her, this break can be beneficial for the future mother. “Sometimes, in difficult moments, a little solitude and peace is enough to return to reality with more emotional balance, avoiding making impulsive and hasty decisions,” she adds.
5. When you’re ready, invite him for an honest, mature conversation.
Frank dialogue is essential to understand each other’s feelings, identify the problems that contributed to the betrayal and seek common solutions. For the sexologist this means talking about all the fears and doubts regarding pregnancy, motherhood/fatherhood and the relationship itself.
“There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the problem of infidelity during pregnancy. Each case of infidelity is unique and must be treated with individuality, care and respect, especially for the benefit of the unborn child,” she says.
6. Seek individual or couples therapy
For some people, therapy can help them deal with this problem. “The professional can help women and men deal with the complex emotions of betrayal, understand the underlying causes, and explore alternatives to rebuild trust and the relationship, if they wish. In fact, the therapy It’s something that even people who are in a close relationship should consider during pregnancy,” Claudia Petry emphasizes.
According to her, whether or not to maintain the relationship is something that must be decided by the couple. “Finally, it is worth remembering that the decision to stay together or not is up to both of you, and must be made rationally and consciously, taking into account both your feelings, your expectations for the future and the well-being of your family. “, she concludes.
By Flavia Vagas
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
