Zombieing: When the ghost returns to your life months later

Zombieing: When the ghost returns to your life months later


Zombieing, or Zombification, is another term that circulates in the world of relationships




Dating can be a time of joy and learning, but it can also be a long, painful, and confusing process. Just when you think everything is fine, the jokes are flowing and the coffee invitations are coming thick and fast, suddenly the other person goes silent. And days become weeks without any sign of life.

Is the person dead? Have you been robbed at gunpoint and had your cell phone, laptop, tablet and any other electronic device that may have your number stored? After a while, you come to accept that maybe that wasn’t “the person” after all, even though they kept sending you news. It may not be realistic to expect to have a vacation together and you will have to look for someone else to accompany you to that family wedding.

So, you return to your pre-cooked life. It’s okay, you didn’t like him from the beginning. His choice of coffee was a bit basic and he had irregular hours. You had to keep waking up in the middle of the night to respond to his 1am jokes and the drunken, clueless texts he sent. Months pass. And then, out of nowhere, you get a text from yours ghost. “So how are you?” he asks – a full three months after leaving the last message “When is the right time for you?” he insists hours later. And you wonder “what the hell is going on?” Well, you’re doing it Zombified.

Zombies is another term that circulates in the world of relationships. It’s basically when you’ve suffered from something ghost for a while and then, out of nowhere, this ghost gets back in touch. And this happens all the time. If this hasn’t happened to you, chances are you know someone who has. After all, it’s easy to resort to light flirting when you’re bored and lonely on a Wednesday night and the dating app is within reach. Which still remains a way to renew self-esteem and inflate the ego. And both men and women do this.

Zombification

“Men do this all the time on Tinder,” said one user of the app, to which he said he responded “are you reviewing all your old matches?” Yes, that’s definitely what they’re doing. Another classic victim of Zombification recounts his experience to the British site Subway: “There was a guy who went to my college, but our paths never crossed until we both lived in the same city after graduation. We ended up going on three dates and got along so well that it made started to get very serious very quickly. He went to his parents house for a few days and we were supposed to meet up when he got back, so I texted him while he was gone to check if everything was still okay for our reunion and I didn’t receive it. response until four months later.

His excuse? He said he had gone to another country and had been there all this time, but that he had come back and wanted to continue where we left off. After telling her he would be over the next week, he was silent again. She was so devastated the first time, but more confused the second time because she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong. He adds that in the group of friends these types of stories are common rigor – French expression used in English to describe something that is necessary or expected because of fashion, custom, or etiquette.

“This is an interesting and very common trend,” he says Subway Mairead Molloy, CEO of Introductions at Berkeley International (a global matchmaking agency). “Acting as if nothing had happened is a tactic that many people use when faced with a complicated situation, and they fear confrontation or act like a coward. Although the person who carries out the ‘buzz‘ may not understand the implications of her actions on the other person, she uses it as a way to boost her ego and test whether the person is still interested in her. It’s a way to let the person know that you’re not pursuing the relationship, but that you’re interested in something more casual.”

Fragile relationships

The common thing is to say that these people are narcissistic, immature and lack empathy. However, in this type of behavior several processes converge. One of them is the weakening of relationships. It is not necessary to have any personality disorder; Instead of resorting to the clinical setting, we should see it as a social behavior, an increasingly widespread model.

One explanation is that you have always been that person’s second, third, fourth, or perhaps 36th choice. Nobody says, “Oh, this person is my first choice, so I’ll give an answer ghost him or her.” Ghost It’s not just about playing hard to get. He’s making it impossible for you. THE ghost He or she may have ghosted you in the first place because he or she found an opportunity with a higher pick and didn’t have the courage or decency to tell you. And when the most important choice didn’t completely work out, the ghost became a zombie and came back to contact you. This is not a good situation. Of course, no one should spend their life looking for love and thinking, “Someday I hope to be someone’s plan B.” Who knows when ghost Can you find someone “better” again?

Another possibility is that the ghost he was going through a situation that he didn’t want to reveal to you. Maybe you were supposed to go on vacation with your, sigh, spouse, who you never talked about. Or maybe this ghost he was dealing with a case of supersyphilis or he was kidnapped or both. Of course, there may be legitimate reasons for disappearing, but there are few situations where you can’t provide some sort of warning or explanation and a timeline, for example: “I have to deal with some urgent family or health issue in the next four years.” . weeks and so I won’t respond.” At the very least, he could have been a lot more apologetic upon his return, instead of being a zombie asshole.

Ghosting and zombies

Regardless of the reason, ghost AND zombie they don’t bode well for a long-term relationship. After all, good communication, openness, and trust are the hallmarks of a good relationship, and these behaviors are in a sense the opposite of those characteristics. If anyone does zombie with you, then you may want to stay as far away from that person as possible as you would a real undead zombie. If you need answers, you can insist that the zombie offer a satisfactory explanation for what happened on his side. ghost. The fact that the zombie provides a complete and honest response should be a minimum non-negotiable prerequisite for any type of further contact.

No matter how terrible you think your relationship situation might be, it’s better to be alone than with someone who will take drastic actions like disappearing and reappearing without truly considering how you might feel. It’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t communicate openly with you.

Zombies can be great extras in a movie, but they don’t make good friends or significant others. Any relationship with someone who has already zombied you once can leave you in a situation where you may have to resurrect the relationship from the dead more than once in the future.

Sources: Metro and Psychology Today

Source: Terra

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