Insensitive end-of-year questions

Understand the ways to escape the discomfort caused by this and other questions like this in end-of-year meetings. While many people love to celebrate with their family, we cannot ignore that the holidays can be a real nightmare rude questions to […]

Understand how to avoid the discomfort caused by this and similar questions in end-of-year meetings

Although many people love to celebrate with their family, we cannot ignore that the end of year holidays can be a real nightmare with rude questions for some people. We can’t wait to celebrate the arrival of new days and, of course, enjoy the celebration typical of this season, but not everything is rosy. Another well-known thing at these family gatherings is the unpleasant conversations that always arise, which can range from a tasteless joke, to prying questions, to political discussions.

It may not seem like it, but rude questions hurt

Questions like ‘When will you get married?’, ‘When will children be born?’ or even “You’ve gained weight, huh?” They are common during these events, as are questions about career choices and even political opinions. These comments, although they may seem harmless, touch sensitive areas for many people and, even if uttered without intent to hurt, end up creating an uncomfortable climate. This is what Cristiane Vaz de Moraes Pertusi states and explains best, doctor in psychology and human development (USP), master in clinical psychology (PUCRS), psychologist, psychotherapist, researcher and university and postgraduate professor in psychology for over 28 years .

What to do at that moment?

The ideal reaction to this type of negative comment or uncomfortable question will depend on the context and the relationship with the person you are interacting with, explains Cristiane. “If it’s something light, a smile or neutral response is often enough to divert the topic. However, if the comment really bothers you, it’s worth responding firmly and calmly. It shows that the topic is sensitive to yourself, but do it without losing your emotional balance. Remember that silence is also a powerful response in some situations”, advises the professional.

And yes, the psychologist says there are several ways to redirect the conversation without necessarily creating more tension. “When someone makes an unpleasant comment, you can, for example, thank them for their opinion and then change the subject in a friendly way by asking something about the other person, such as ‘And what did you do well?’ or ‘What are your plans for next year?'” he indicates. This, according to Cristiane, shows that you are present and open, but deflects the focus of the conversation in a respectful way.

You don’t need to belittle yourself to keep the peace

However, the psychologist emphasizes an important point in this regard: “Maintaining harmony does not mean that you have to stop being who you are.” In other words, you can continue to follow your beliefs and values ​​without getting into unnecessary conflicts. “When we realize that people have different points of view, we can learn to listen to them without necessarily agreeing. Accepting that we don’t always need to convince others of our opinions helps us maintain peace and respect,” he emphasizes Christians.

In any case, the professional emphasizes that setting healthy boundaries is essential for self-care. “If there are specific topics that you know may cause discomfort, it’s important to communicate this in a respectful way. Saying, for example, ‘I’d rather not talk about this topic right now’ or ‘This is a topic that makes me uncomfortable’ helps signal own limits without hurting others,” he advises.

“Respecting these limits comes from you and therefore encourages others to respect them too.”

There are those who prefer to be prepared for rude questions.

In an anxious society that loves to predict everything in advance, one of the doubts is whether it is possible to prepare emotionally to face criticism or unpleasant comments from family members during the end-of-year holidays. According to the psychologist, the best preparation is to carry out an internal reflection before the meeting. “It is important to recognize our own vulnerabilities and points that may cause discomfort. When we are aware of what disturbs us, we are able to deal with situations better and avoid impulsive reactions. Entering the family meeting with this emotional preparation helps us maintain the control over our responses and emotions.”

You have to know when to leave

But you also need to know when to distance yourself from situations of great emotional stress, in the name of your own peace. “When you notice that the conversation is becoming exhausting, or that you start to feel irritated or uncomfortable, it’s time to give yourself a break,” says the psychologist. It tells you to take a break to breathe, get some fresh air, or find a moment of silence. All this can help maintain emotional balance and avoid creating even more tense situations.

Source: Terra

Ben

Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.