Of maternal guilt: because he does not define if you are a good mother

Maternal fault does not define who you are. Find out how to get rid of the pressure of the perfect mother and welcome her authenticity on maternity

“I’m, I was or will I be a good mother?” This is the question that is not silent in the mind of almost all those who live the maternity. Between moments of joy and, above all, during perresses and crises, a feeling is constant: the maternal fault.

This is what we know that being a mother is not something that is learned in an instruction manual, right? But the The pressure to be perfectTo manage everything, to satisfy the expectations of society, of the family and above all for ours, is almost a phrase.

From the beginning of pregnancy, at the time of adoption or even before, when the idea of ​​having a child begins to surround us, that dust approaches the ear: “Will I manage the message?”.

It is in the search for an answer that we often live a real marathon to recognize ourselves in this new role. And that’s where maternal fault Begins to settle down. We have to talk about it.

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The curse of Cinderella e The origin of maternal fault

“Have courage and be kind.” (Gets a pair of crystal shoes that guesses where this maximum comes from!)

From an early age, we are bombed by fairy tales who teach us to give priority to the well -being of others, to be good, to never complain and to accept our destiny with a smile on the face.

THE CinderellaWith its sweetness, altruism and without any talent to impose limits, it personifies this female ideal that we internalize without even realizing it.

And then, when we cross the maternity line, it becomes even more serious. The company pushes us into the throat Image of the perfect mother:

• what is always arranged, that never tires,
• who has infinite patience,
• which is present at any time
• And above all, this does not make mistakes.

So, as a magical pass, the maternal fault is settled in our hearts:

• Because we are not always available,
• To lose patience (who ever?),
• To feel exhausted
• Or in order not to be able to be all we think it should be.

Read also: Tired mothers: how to take care of the body, mind and energy

The perfect mother does not exist (and okay!)

When we look around, we realize that this maternal fault is not a gene or part of the female DNA, but a burden imposed by a society that requires us to present the modern Cinerelli, smiling as we balance the world in our hands, even if we are on the point of a nervous attack.

The truth is that the perfect mother does not exist. And that’s okay. There is the possible mother, the real mother, who gives her the best in the conditions she has.

Being a good mother does not mean the absence of errors, but the presence of love, responsibility and willingness to learn and grow.

Rediscover who you are after maternity

It is here that it is the leap of the cat: if we ignore this pressure, we are still trapped in the imagination of perfection and we are at risk of losing sight of the beauty of motherhood – which is precisely the possibility of reinventing ourselves, connecting with us and learning to laugh at our own difficulties.

After all, we are sincere, motherhood is a Russian mountain of emotions, with moments of pure ecstasy and others of pure despair juice.

The birth of a child invites us to take on a new role, but never forget it We are much more than simple mothers.

Our passions, our talents, our dreams and even those parts of us who hide seven keys continue to exist, even if sometimes they seem to be in the background.

The process of playing the role of the mother does not need – and should not – cancel the essence of who you are. On the contrary, staying in contact with your identity is what allows you to show your children the value of authenticity.

After all, how to teach your child to appreciate himself, to respect his limits and seek happiness if you are not yet allowed to do the same?

👉 Is what I feel normal? How to understand your mental health

Self -Care: an act of courage against maternal fault

Taking care of yourself is not selfishness, but a necessity. We can also say that it is a prerequisite for the function of being a mother.

Engage with yours Process of car -conclusion It is a powerful way to teach, for example, that everyone has an invaluable value, simply because it is.

When we try to integrate the various facets of our life – woman, mother, professional, friend, lover, cook, cleaning woman, driver, teacher (hull!) – We show our children who can be “enough”.

In the end, Perfection is not the goalBut consistency with our values, with our desires and the life we ​​want to build.

You are enough (and not only)

Given all this, the question there from the beginning – “Am I a good mother?” – You can earn a beautiful answer: if you take care, if you know, if you accept with your imperfections, let yourself be mistaken, learn from your mistakes and, above all, have the courage to be authentic, you can be sure to shake motherhood!

And if someone dares to say otherwise, send it to read this text. Maybe this person doesn’t think about his concepts on what he is, after all, be a good mother?

And you? How did you face the maternal fault? Share with me My Instagram.

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A publication shared by Tatiana Magalhães | Clinical Psychologist | CRP 05/80118 (@mulhermaravilhaman therapy)

The post Of maternal guilt: because he does not define if you are a good mother appeared first in Personade.

Tatiana Magalhães (tmagalee@gmail.com)

– Clinical psychologist and post -laurea student in psychopathology.

Source: Terra

Ben

Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.