What is “ghosting”? Understand intentional disappearance in relationships

What is “ghosting”? Understand intentional disappearance in relationships


“Ghosting” is increasingly common due to relationships built on dating apps; find out how to get over an “almost date”

If you have ever had an experience where you simply met that special someone disappeared from your life without explanationyou’ve probably experienced “ghosting” before. Increasingly common due to relationships built on the Internet, the term comes from the English, ‘ghost‘, Which translated into Portuguese it means ghost.




This situation, worthy of a horror film, is practiced mainly by men and gains even more strength thanks to dating apps. This is because, this lack of commitment flirting and flirting ends up opening up situations like this, as psychologist Marina Vasconcellos explains.

“People have many options and talk to multiple people at the same time, especially men. They open up to several women and, due to lack of courage or because they think they don’t have to give satisfaction, they discard these people and disappear. It’s a huge disregard for the relationships and bonds that would be built.”

And this is a very big peculiarity of ghost. After all, how can you get over the end of something that never actually happened? This is a very painful experience, which affects the self-esteem of those who suffer this situation.

Why does ghosting happen?

According to the expert there are several reasons behind this inexplicable breakage. “Immaturity, fear of commitment, desire to have nothing to do with anyone… Sometimes it’s people who are married and their spouse finds out. Or even someone who has a more serious commitment – ​​be it a relationship or a marriage – and disappears because they don’t want to tell the truth. These people You don’t have the courage to say you don’t want it anymore“, reports Marina.

In this sense, although there is a reason behind it, That doesn’t mean it’s plausible in any kind of relationshipEverything OK? For the psychologist, the ghost It’s a clear sign of “emotional incompetence.” So, in the end, leaving this relationship that hadn’t even started ends up being a great release, right?

And how do you get over something you haven’t experienced?

The experience of living the ghost It is so traumatic that many people think back to what they did wrong to deserve to experience it. However, know that the fault lies in the other person and not in you. In fact the psychologist is emphatic about overcoming: “imagine you deserve more“.

Additionally, dealing with this situation may be painful at first, but it can help you observe other possible signs and attitudes associated with the condition. ghost. Therefore Marina leaves two tips for prevention:

  • Pay attention to the people you surround yourself with;
  • Observe the signals the person sends and how they work.

Now if the person has disappeared it’s because something is wrong. Or wrong emotionally, or wrong in his life. “So the best thing to do is: follow your own path without suffering for someone who isn’t worth it”, concludes the expert.

Source: Marina Vasconcellospsychologist, psychodramatist and family therapist from the Federal University of São Paulo (UNIFESP).

Source: Terra

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