Two things you can do to make the experiences less painful

It is possible to change the way we feel about situations and memories

StressChallenges and failures are part of life, but how we respond emotionally to them can shape our future.

Like I said Shakespeare: “There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” an observation that reflects the power of an emotional regulation strategy that psychologists call cognitive reappraisal or reframing.

Cognitive reappraisal is “magical” because it demonstrates “an almost infinite capacity that human beings have to modify their emotional experiences,” says Iris Mauss, a professor of psychology from the University of California at Berkeley.

Research shows that applying this strategy in appropriate situations is beneficial mental healthsuch as developing resilience, one reason why cognitive reappraisal is an important component in several types of therapy, including cognitive behavioral therapy.

The benefits of redesign

As we go about our daily lives, we constantly evaluate situations and “label” them as positive or negative, says Richard Lopez, assistant professor of psychology and neuroscience at Worcester Polytechnic Institute.

Often, this assessment is automatic and relatively unconscious and occurs throughout the day, he adds.

But we can also reevaluate how we initially interpret a situation, which can help us develop psychological resilience.

It’s difficult to directly change our emotional responses—we can’t “shake off” sadness, Iris says, but by reframing the meaning of a situation, we can change how we feel afterward.

There are two main ways to use cognitive reappraisal:

• Positive side

One is to “look on the bright side,” says Bryan Denny, an associate professor of psychological sciences at Rice University.

For example, getting into a minor accident on the way to work can be stressful or scary, but you can reframe the situation by remembering that no one was hurt and that it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Or maybe it also has a positive side: you had to change the bumper anyway.

Maybe “you can’t change the situation, but you can think about it differently,” Denny teaches.

• Psychological distancing

The other is psychological detachment. “You don’t change the meaning, but you change the importance it has for you by imagining yourself far, far away in time or space,” Iris says.

For example, how likely are you to remember this incident in 10 years?

Research shows that cognitive reappraisal can reduce negative emotions, such as hopelessness or feelings of sadness and disappointment, and increase positive emotions, such as hope or feelings of strength or joy.

These are short-term benefits, but can provide long-term psychological results if done consistently, adds Iris.

There is a large individual difference in how people respond emotionally to the same situation, and some people tend to use cognitive reappraisal more frequently.

“This, over time, translates into greater life satisfaction, greater psychological well-being, better social connections, and even less depression AND anxiety“, says Iris.

How restructuring changes the brain

Cognitive reappraisal helps “dampen” our brain’s response to threat.

Neuroimaging studies have shown that when participants saw negative images that produced a strong reaction, the amygdala, our brain’s internal threat detector, brain – was activated if they did not use emotional regulation strategies.

The use of cognitive reappraisal involves regions of the prefrontal cortex, brain areas important for executive functions and higher cognition. The prefrontal cortex is thought to inhibit the activity of the amygdala, leading to fewer negative emotions, says Lopez, who participated in a meta-analysis of these studies.

Other research has found that cognitive reappraisal also affects our physiology, slowing our heart rate, for example.

According to a 2021 neuroimaging study, finding positive meaning in memories of negative events can even refresh the memory, making it more positive the next time it’s recalled.

Psychological manipulation

There are limits to cognitive reappraisal and it still needs to match reality.

Sometimes we can get caught up in what Iris calls “self-illumination“, where you lie to yourself as a shortcut to feeling better. In these cases, the reappraisal is “not authentic or realistic” and is potentially linked to toxic positivity where people just want to feel good.

And in some situations revaluations are not useful in the long term.

Being empathetic to a friend requires you to feel emotions with them and not reevaluate them, Lopez explains.

“If you’re in an abusive relationship, for example, reappraisal would absolutely be the last emotional regulation strategy you should use,” Denny adds.

This is because, although negative emotions make us feel bad, they can push us to action; Blocking them can make us less likely to take action to change the situation, research shows.

“In these situations, it may be best to hold on to indignation, righteous anger, and even anxiety because these things can motivate people,” Iris says. “But maybe you want to use reevaluation to add some positive emotions, hope and strength.”

When and how to reformulate negative experiences

There is no single strategy for reformulation. Instead, it is important to have a cognitive reassessment in our “toolbox” of emotion regulation strategies and make an adaptive selection for each situation, advises Lopez.

Here’s what the experts recommend:

• It starts with acceptance

First, accept and evaluate without judgment what you feel in this moment.

“Addressing our emotions with curiosity and awareness, rather than judgment, can be a great first, and sometimes only, step toward engaging with them,” says Iris.

• Practice self-awareness

How we respond is shaped by a lifetime of hurts and experiences that “have led us to adopt certain patterns or coping mechanisms,” Lopez says.

Knowing what signals or situations affect you emotionally – and how you handle those moments – is important, he says.

• Know that you can change your feelings

Choosing to use cognitive reappraisal may seem trivial, but it is not. Many people believe that their emotions are “really powerful animalistic forces” that can’t be changed, Iris says. Research shows that holding these beliefs is related to worse psychological health, including lower well-being and increased depressive and anxiety symptoms.

“Don’t be afraid of your emotions,” says Iris. “They are a normal human response. We all experience strong emotions. That doesn’t mean they will overwhelm us.”

• Identify ways to reevaluate

How can you reframe the narrative to change its meaning? Could it be less bad or more positive than you initially imagined?

Are there ways to psychologically distance yourself from the situation? What do you think about it in five or ten years?

For more intense and negative experiences, research shows that psychological distancing may be more effective.

“Taking a step back and trying to see the situation as a third-person observer can be helpful if you feel like something is too overwhelming,” Denny advises.

Sometimes, however, reevaluation is unsuccessful. Maybe you are tired and stressed, which makes the task difficult. “The next day, you can revisit the topic and then reevaluate it,” Lopez advises.

• Decide if you want to keep the negative emotions

If it’s a situation you can change, it may be best to hold onto your negative emotions, “because they will push you to change the situation,” says Iris.

If it’s a situation you can’t change, like a profound loss, “then it may be more important to turn inward and help yourself feel better,” she adds.

• Ask for feedback

Ask someone close to you how the reevaluation went, Lopez encourages. Writing in a journal can also be an effective way to put your evaluations on paper and distance yourself from them.

• Try therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy relies heavily on cognitive restructuring and working to understand why you perceive and respond in certain ways.

“Therapy gives you the time and space to do really deep reevaluation work that can only happen over the course of months and years,” Lopez says.

In therapy, the therapist “accompanies you so that you can achieve this self-knowledge” and serves as a “guide to facilitate this reframing and challenge certain thoughts,” Lopez says.

This content was translated with the help of artificial intelligence tools and reviewed by our editorial team. Find out more in our Artificial Intelligence Policy.

Source: Terra

Ben

Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.