With the norms of sexual culture in our minds, we create a perspective on sex that limits our ability to enjoy our experience.
What is the quality standard of sex? With the norms of sexual culture in our minds, we create a perspective on sex that limits our ability to enjoy our experience. Or even having desires that might be considered unconventional, causing great anxiety and sexual discontent.
Sex and intimacy experts Louise Mazanti and Mike Lousada talk about the influence of medicine and the pornographic media: “The forces of commercialism have made sexuality a goodssomething to sell and buy “.
Regarding the media, they explain that we are repeatedly exposed to subtle and invasive messages about sexuality. While this is beneficial in making sexuality more accessible and acceptable, it also entails a burden.
Mazzanti and Lousada also underline that medicine makes great invasions in our sexuality, determining the individualities that will be treated as pathologies and dysfunctions, leading us to believe that we need treatment, be it with drugs, medicines or cosmetics.
They also add that this sexual standard of quality is expressed in several ways. We will see some examples below.
What does standard quality sex require?
the standard vulva
The standard vulva does not smell of woman, but of intimate soap. As for the shapes, they follow the model of porn movies. The hair loses its protective function and acquires an aesthetic function with the cut patterns determined in the waxing house menus, such as dug or super dug, mohawk, etc.
The label is that fur shouldn’t be “wild”. Hair does not have to be white. If we don’t accept the gray in the head, can you imagine over there?
The standard vulva is racist. As some Brazilians shouted at the Russian Cup, it must be “Pink Pussy! Pink Pussy!”. Yet, as researcher and writer Peggy Orenstein explains, in this aesthetic dictatorship the labia majora must cover the labia minora.
She is what in the United States is called “Barbie”. Yes, Barbie, that plastic doll with nothing between her legs.
While international human rights institutions fight against clitoridectomy (a violent rite of passage that involves the total or partial removal of clitoris – by the way, do you know where it is? – and the labia minora of women) in African countries, Brazil is the leader in the number of intimate aesthetic “correction” interventions according to the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (ISAPS).
The most sought after is the labioplasty or nymphoplasty, to reduce the labia minora. Ok, without using scientific-goumet terms: Standard quality sex is leading us to cosmetic genital mutilation.
And so we have become “Black Ford vulvas”, produced to scale, identical, unnatural and increasingly disposable, after all, if this no longer works, you can have another one just like it.
I will not be able to leave the appeals for the end of the text, so: Dear powerful female goddesses, love each other as you are! Your vulvas are unique, they are like fingerprints. They don’t have the same.
If you need proof for this, know the Gynodiversity, a project that aims to document the diversity of female genitalia around the world. I also suggest the wonderful exhibition The Great Wall of Vaginas (The Great Wall of Vaginas) of the artist Jamie McCartney, who invited about 400 women to make plaster casts of their vulvas with the aim of enhancing this feminine wealth and fighting practices such as aesthetic mutilation.
standard performance
What is “good sex” within this standard? It is one whose features are included in a pre-scripted checklist.
You don’t have to choose every item on the list, but your sexual freedom is limited to what’s on the list.
So, if you have any doubts about your “sexual quality”, use the checklist and count the points at the end of the quiz:
- Did you say any seductive phrases?
- Did you kiss on the mouth with your tongue?
- Before reaching the genitals, did you spend at least 5 minutes on other parts of the body?
- Was there masturbation?
- Was oral sex successful?
- Was it possible to hear moans?
- Yup? So be happy.
- Performance is considered good.
Of course, you can earn extra stars if you reach orgasm, if you feel pleasure. Even more stars if a woman bought it underwear the girl either did a sensual dance and in the man’s case flowers were brought or praised the newly plucked eyebrows.
So, if you’ve followed this mechanism, sexual quality standards dictate that you answer “yes” to the classic question no. 01 post-sex: was it good for you?
But that’s not quite what research has shown. As Mazzanti and Lousada have pointed out about pornography, for example (and this includes the soft porn with the subtle eroticism of TV commercials, for example), “raises our expectations of ourselves and our partners to unrealistic levels.”
And this leads to frustration. It is not uncommon for people to testify that, in worrying about having a good performance, they lose the experience of sensations. Find out here what you like about sex according to astrology and your sex chart.
standard pleasure
Hence the second classic post-sex question: “So, did you come?”
In Western culture, also stimulated by the porn industry and healthcare areas, there is a reduction of the idea of ​​sexual pleasure to orgasm. The point is that this may also be an indication, but it is not a guarantee of pleasurable sex, satisfaction, fullness.
So, let’s separate things – it’s possible to have an extremely pleasurable relationship without orgasm. It is also possible that there is a purely physiological orgasm without satisfaction. Reflect here on sex for pleasure or obligation.
The point is that it was necessary to establish a model of pleasure and perhaps for practical, objective and / or commercial reasons it was decided to reduce pleasure to orgasm.
This facilitates a visual simulation for commercial marketing, as well as isolating a moment of behavior for scientific study.
It is necessary to recall the Freudian view that clitoral orgasm would represent sexual immaturity and the woman should have orgasm only through the vagina, so it depends on the man to follow the psychoanalytic model of pleasure. The scheme limits the idea of ​​pleasure.
On a daily basis, many continue to reproduce it. When I hear people talking about sex, the focus is on performance. When it comes to pleasure, it’s orgasm.
In a sexual relationship, we can experience an infinite number of sensations. I do not ask Cartesianism to name everything we hear, but our inability to express these sensations, either because of a reduced lexicon or because it is not at the center of our attention, deserves reflection.
All this sensible infinity boils down to what’s called foreplay, that is, it’s not even considered sex, it’s just a means of achieving the grand finale template.
Even today many of us have not yet said: enough! So you have to keep repeating: First, sexual pleasure doesn’t have to be between two people. Secondly, if so, it does not need to be reduced to the reproductive organs.
I consider it the largest sex organ in the human body is the skin and the most powerful is the brain. And for those who want to visit other non-standard sexuality possibilities, I recommend Tantra.
Tantra is a set of practices and beliefs that carry a systemic view of the universe, biological beings and other systems. Unlike what many people think, it doesn’t come down to sex. Expands the idea of ​​sexuality a meditate, eat, etc. As for orgasm, for tantra this is not an end, but one more possibility in the universe of sexuality.
Check out natural therapies to spice up sex here!
Standard quality sex leads to frustration
Guys, without further ado, I think I can conclude what basically every woman already knows, but doesn’t say: standard sex leads to frustration.
I keep imagining a person feeling sexually satisfied and then in a conversation between friends he starts making comparisons and at the end of the evening he comes to the conclusion that several standard elements are missing from his checklist. Thus the frustration is born.
Of course, if you, considering only your individuality, do not feel flat and happy, we change the situation, but if you feel bad it is because you are not in the average, the result of comparisons, let’s stop, immediately.
Start by letting the sentence out of your mouth so that your ear receives it, say: that’s enough!
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Ana I know (anasounatural@gmail.com)
– Part of the first generation of certified Kemetic Yoga instructors in Brazil. In yoga based in India, he is training in Yin Yang Vinyasa (Edson Ramos) and Hatha Yoga (Art of Living). She also trained in Ayurvedic Yoga Massage (Pune-India); and Rebirthing Breath Therapy.
Source: Terra
Benjamin Smith is a fashion journalist and author at Gossipify, known for his coverage of the latest fashion trends and industry insights. He writes about clothing, shoes, accessories, and runway shows, providing in-depth analysis and unique perspectives. He’s respected for his ability to spot emerging designers and trends, and for providing practical fashion advice to readers.
