Why is it hard to be alone with your thoughts?

Studies show that people would rather do than think, but the practice can lead to benefits such as reducing anxiety; take a look at the tips for “thinking for pleasure”

Our minds can conjure dreams incredible memories, fond memories and prolonged daydreams. And studies show that this kind of thought, when it is pleasant, is good for us.

“If we’re not the only species, we’re one of the few that have this kind of extended internal thinking, not just about things that have happened or things that could happen, but also about things that will never happen or could have happened,” he said. said. Erin Westgate, a social psychologist at the University of Florida, while The Washington Post.

But “just thinking” seems difficult, and many struggle to be alone with the one person they are with the most: themselves. When asked to switch to time alone to thinkmost think so challenging and not so satisfyingstudies show.

Even Henry David Thoreau, famous for contemplating his thoughts alone at Walden Pond, a famous US pond, “spent a suspiciously large part of his ‘solitary’ city retreat visiting his neighbors,” Erin Westgate noted. and his colleagues in a study last year.

When it comes to assessing how pleasant it is to think for pleasure, experience tends to fail. The equivalent of brushing your teeth, said Erin Westgate. “It’s not torture, but it’s not the best thing in the world.”

Studies show that people have a constant preference for doing rather than thinkingeven if the alternative activity is something that seems unappealing, like doing a review or even getting an electric shock.

However, as with other demanding cognitive tasks, spending time alone with our thoughts can be good for us. AND we might as well learn to be better at it.

Benefits

Loneliness isn’t inherently good or bad, but “just one of many normal experiences we have in our lives,” said Thuy-vy Nguyen, a social psychologist who researches loneliness at Durham University in the UK.

Nguyen and his colleagues, however, found out spending time alone for just 15 minutes has calming effects on our mood. Participants experienced a reduction in arousal and high-energy emotions, both positive and negative, such as anxiety, anger and excitement. They felt calmer and more comfortable.

“I believe the main benefit of solitude is to decrease arousal and give us opportunities for rest and relaxation,” Nguyen said.

Being able to think for pleasure can help us tolerate uncomfortable situations, said Erin Westgate. Research has found that people who can spend more time alone with their thoughts are better at keeping their hands in cold water longer, for example, suggesting that the practice may increase pain tolerance.

More importantly, thinking for pleasure can be more meaningful than what we normally do during our downtime.

In one study, Erin Westgate and her colleagues asked more than 170 students to think for pleasure during their downtime or to continue with their day as usual. Those students who were asked to think for pleasure found it so pleasurable and more meaningful than the time normally spent, that. As with many people, that time without focused thought ends up being “mindlessly scrolling through the phone,” said the researcher.

When choice is offered and made with intention, time alone with our thoughts, while difficult, can increase our engagement with life and its meaning.

Cultural or biological?

Contrary to what it may seem, enjoying our thoughts is a challenge in many parts of the world..

In a 2019 study, more than 2,500 participants from 11 countries with diverse cultural and economic backgrounds were assigned to do something or think for pleasure. There were some differences, but whether someone was from Belgium, South Korea, Turkey or Costa Rica, on average, people liked to make something for themselves to think about.

These results may be disappointing: While humans have this unique ability to think for fun, we don’t appear to be very good at it.

But from another perspective, this is encouraging because it suggests that “rather than being something we’re born with, this is a skill that any of us can learn and improve,” said Erin Westgate. “Everyone gets better when we give support to facilitate,” added the researcher.

How to practice?

In a review of 36 scientific studies involving more than 10,000 participants, the researcher and her colleagues found that when we make it a goal to enjoy our thoughts, we end up liking them. the key is make thoughts personally meaningful and easier to think about.

Think about how easy it is. We are more likely to engage in thinking for pleasure during downtime, such as when we are traveling or engaged in self-care, such as taking a bath. These automatic, routine thoughts don’t require our attention or additional brain power.

As “significant beings,” we can reframe these moments of solitude as beneficial and normalize them as a way to self-regulate our experiences, Nguyen said.

Write down the topics and keep them handy. Writing lists of topics to think about in advance can ease some of the cognitive load.

Erin Westgate’s research shows that “thinking aids,” such as screen annotations or index cards, make thinking for pleasure easier and, consequently, more enjoyable. The same researcher keeps a note on her phone about things to daydream about.

Make topics meaningful and fun. In a 2021 study, the researcher and her colleagues instructed more than 250 college students to think “meaningful” thoughts or give them specific meaningful topics, like their first kiss, their next vacation, or their dream wedding day.

Participants who were given specific examples found their reflection period more enjoyable and meaningful than those who were asked to entertain their thoughts without any guidance.

Pleasant thoughts are not inherently meaningful, and meaningful thoughts are not inherently pleasant. Presetting topics can help enhance the experience of these thoughts, which can make it easier to be alone with your thoughts in the future.

“It can be ‘the’ tool in the toolkit for increasing engagement and increasing meaning, which is free,” said Erin Westgate.

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Source: Terra

Ben

Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.