People who live alone believe they have more independence and freedom to live
If you still believe that those who live alone are alone because they haven’t found a partner, it’s time to change your mind. Thirty years ago, people walked into therapeutic offices wanting to know who they were. Today, all my patients invariably suffer because they have too many options and cannot choose one, without suffering for the others left – the phenomenon of frustration. This is the reason for at least 8 out of 10 patients seen in the psychoanalytic study.
Interference of social needs in autonomous life
Living alone is not a fad or an isolated thing. IS life option which has crystallized in Brazil over the last 50 years and probably in other parts of the world. However, many people suffer from not supporting another marriage, for which they have already realized they have no appreciation, or because they don’t even think about entering one of these because they already know, in advance, of the impossibility of managing one .
That is, they live in fear of what they will say or think about them and end up suffering from not having enough strength to choose what they can carry forward in life. In that case they choose to please others and sooner or later psychic suffering comes. Those who choose to live an independent life, as I prefer to call it, do not experience this indecision.
New buildings in the way of life
That image of a spinster aunt who lived alone in her parents’ house in the 70s, who knows, was the great revolution in the world of Brazilians. This revolution we can see today in research, such as those of the IBGE in the last population census.
Today the elderly who live alone, travel, consume, spend on leisure and have life qualityare partly made up of these “old maid aunts” of the 70s and 80s. They have quietly built a revolution in the way of life, especially if we consider the idea of ​​Latin Americans that one cannot live alone and that “every pot has its cap”.
The numbers of Brazilians living alone don’t lie, however, the biggest evidence of this phenomenon is the changing demographic dynamics. There are many people around us who flaunt autonomous lives, men and women who live alone, without formal marriage and children, and often without stable relationships.
Why do people choose to live alone?
The first thing that comes to mind is that people who choose to live alone do so because they are unable to meet collective standards, they are selfish and have various relational, sharing and altruism difficulties. In the case of those who live alone not for the option, but for lack of it, because their peers have already died or have met another end, it seems that the social perception is always the same: they live alone because they have no option .
But understanding this phenomenon must go much further. It is not possible that this fact goes unnoticed by public policies, churches and, above all, the notion of collective health to which all of us, therapists and health professionals, are linked.
It is necessary to rethink the whole offer of therapies and psychological support for this group because they are not yet understood and ours therapeutic techniques for them they are obsolete, since the majority do not suffer from depression or loneliness, as the numbers indicate; and 72% of them, for example, believe that living alone gives more freedom to spend money, i.e. the self-employed person has a passion and a behavior to have.
Impact of the population living alone on the market
Consumption is part of their daily life. And that number, even if it seems a problem for superficial psychology, is not for the world of work since 6 out of 10 of these self-employed are employed. They have excellent qualifications for the job compared to their peers of the same age and social status.
The living population only consumes, but why does it consume? This is still an unanswered question. If you risk saying it’s to compensate, you’re wrong on the way out. Those who live only want to say that they have a life plan, a goal of well-being, a path to follow: to be alone in the world and happy, without children, without marriage, without fixed emotional relationships.
Autonomous life and social relationships
It seems sad to some, but it is the option of these adult Brazilians that must be observed so that the orientations of different segments can accept it population, and not simply evaluating and judging them with criteria of exclusion or prejudice. The new religions have already discovered this people – of Buddhists, hares, mindfulness (almost a religion) -; this population is already finding its place in religions that do not force marriage and traditional family models.
Also commerce and industry. They consume everything, they consume a lot and they have always learned that consuming is also being happy and they throw themselves into this action without guilt: they travel, take courses, complete higher education, consume technologies, fashion, etc.
And when they get older, they will continue to consume even more, because they will inherit goods from their parents, without having to share them with anyone. This generation has a different mental organization to which psychology must adhere urgently, at the risk of abandoning it in its choices.
Psychological modifications on loneliness
Today, portions of individual foods already exist, ranging from organic to fast food. Health plans, club cards, cars and goods of all kinds designed and created for those who choose to live alone. I mean, the company is already presenting solutions for this group, however, when it comes to psychological support, prejudice prevails.
Among mental health and education professionals, we need to fight first of all the idea that those who live alone are sad and unhappy and have problems living together. This is an urgent and essential action. What presents this self-employed population is: independence (25%); sense of freedom (23%); peace (12%); loneliness (10%), sadness (3%), abandonment (1%), privacy (50%). That is, loneliness and abandonment are definitely not their most important feature.
They want and are looking for something else that we still don’t understand, but for this very reason it is urgent that you deepen these topics to understand them. You humanities (people who have chosen to be alone), as I call them now, are our challenge in the therapeutic field. I am unimultiple in the sense and homo mobilis in actions. Now we have to listen to them.
From prof. Dr. Geraldo Pecanha de Almeida
Psychoanalyst of the International Society of Psychoanalysis of São Paulo. Practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism and facilitator of Buddhist studies. He has more than 70 books, including ‘In Search of Inner Peace’ and ‘Meditations to Start the Day’. Founder and director of the Projeto Coração de Pólen – Center for treatment, study and research in the area of ​​mental health, in Curitiba.
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
