Psychologist Carol Bitar, author of the book “Help, I have children” explains how respectful education can help in the fight against childhood violence
Respectful parenting is a fairly new movement that aims to teach and set boundaries for children in an empathic way and without using physical punishment. Despite the existence of Law nº 13.010, known as Lei do Menino Bernardo, which supports the protection of children and the prohibition of spanking among other types of physical and emotional violence, there is still a very high rate of childhood violence.
According to data from the National Human Rights Ombudsman, analyzed in a study produced by scientific committee of the Nucleus Science for Childhood (NCPI)in Brazil, there are 673 cases of violence against children up to 6 years old per day, or 28 per hour, and in most cases the suspects of assault are parents, stepmothers, stepfathers or grandparents.
Given this backdrop, discussions about children’s mental health heat up and raise concerns about the limits of education. For Carol Bitar, a psychologist, neuroscience specialist and advocate for protected childhoods, positive education can be a way to break the cycle of violence and demonstrate that it is possible to educate and set boundaries in a respectful way.
“Respectful education should not be seen as a different way of educating, after all, respect must exist in all types of relationships. We still carry a very strong culture of violence within family structures, and children are the most vulnerable Carol says.
The psychologist explains that educating in a respectful way has nothing to do with permissiveness, as many believe. He says it is possible to teach values, respect and rules without hurting or compromising the physical and emotional integrity of the child.
“Respectful parenting will require parents to study infancy and how to lead. We study for everything in this life, including breastfeeding, even if it is something natural and instinctive, we still need guidance. Why not study about education and childhood “Parents and adults, in general, who deal with children must take this seriously. A lot of emotional damage is caused by adults’ lack of knowledge.”
About spanking
Spanking is still widely used by parents as an educational method, and this has been debated by science over the many harms of these actions. According to the survey “Childhood maltreatment predicts inflammation in adults in a life-course study”, children raised in difficult families are prone to chronic diseases later in life. For Carol, who is also a behavior specialist, children subjected to fear, punishment and constant stress will be recorded in her immunological memory, increasing their risk of physical and emotional illness in the short, medium and even long term.
“All the stress and fear caused in childhood generates a natural inflammation in our body. The sooner this individual is subjected to stress, consequently, the more inflammatory processes will develop, thus causing what we call ‘immunological memory’, i.e. this inflammation will be marked in the cells of this subject”.
Carol points out that spankings can speak volumes about the lack of strategies and tools on how to guide children on a daily basis, as well as the limited ability for parents and children to talk, hence the importance of studying education.
“Moreover, the act of hitting is also closely linked to these parents’ childhood. Adults who were hit in childhood learn this behavioral repertoire and replicate it with their own children. Therefore, it is urgent to break the cycle of violence “. .
One recent research conducted in the United States which included 75 studies in 13 countries, concluded that spanking significantly increases the risk of bad outcomes and problems. In that same research it was observed that spanking was not linked to a child’s good behavior, instead, spanking was linked to a child’s worst behavior.
“Many parents believe that children should be punished for teaching, but the most interesting thing is that in other various family relationships, no one hits their husband, wife or friends to teach. But when it comes to children, many justify themselves as education”.
Instagram: @carolbitar_
Source: Terra
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