-ubrgtmzebzhd.jpg)
Corrine Gregory reflects on the right to choose one’s own death, but describes the experience as a ‘painful paradox’
Summary
In 2021, Corinne Gregory helped her elderly and terminally ill parents, Eva and Druse Neumann, die together with legal medical aid in Washington, highlighting love, ethical challenges, and the debate over dignity at the end of life.
Corinne Gregory made an unimaginable decision: whether or not to help her parents end their lives. In 2021, the private chef from Washington, United States, chose to help Eva and Druse Neumann die with medical assistance – a legal process in the state. Now at age 61, he told the story to People and described the experience as a “painful paradox.”
Receive the main news directly on WhatsApp! Subscribe to the Terra channel
“We have always been close, a very close family,” says Corinne, recalling the relationship with her parents, married for decades and inseparable until the end.
Eva and Druse lived in Long Beach, California for many years. Worked as an office manager at a Toyota dealership; him, at an electrical supply company. After retiring, they moved to Washington to be near their daughter.
But old age brought challenges. Eva, then 92 years old, had accumulated heart problems, such as a heart attack, a stent operation and, in 2018, the diagnosis of aortic stenosis. “He asked me to speak at a restaurant and it was like a mother sitting down with her daughter to tell her that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. But instead he told me something terribly real,” Corinne recalls.
“The doctors basically said he had 18 months to two years to live without very invasive surgery.”
The mother, however, refused the procedure. “Even if she had the surgery, there was no guarantee that she would live any longer. So her attitude was, ‘Let’s just let things take their course.'”
Corinne and her father tried to accept the decision. “The truth is, we never know how much time we have. And hearing someone impose a deadline, even a hypothetical one, is a harsh reality. So you deal with it and try to enjoy every day, which she, in fact, did.”
Eva maintained an active routine until April 2021, when she fell at home in the early hours of the morning and hit her head on a shelf. “My father called in complete desperation,” Corinne says. The fall resulted in hospitalization and rehabilitation, and shortly thereafter, Druse, 95, began showing symptoms of a stroke.
From that moment on, the two were hospitalized and then sent to the same rehabilitation center. “They started to lose the will to live,” says Corinne, who decided to bring them home. Shortly thereafter, doctors suggested palliative care for Eva. “My first reaction was: You’ve got to be kidding me. This is a woman full of life, full of brilliance. So to hear ‘considering end-of-life care’ was a total shock.”
The daughter quickly realized that her mother did not fear death. Eva therefore decided to resort to the Death with Dignity Law, in force in the State since 2008, which allows terminally ill patients to end their lives with lethal drugs administered on their own.
But the decision shocked the father.
“I had a very serious conversation with him after my mother went to bed. He was panicking: ‘What will happen to me if he leaves early?’ He couldn’t imagine living without her.”
After reflection, the father made his request. “He was always afraid of dying. But I think his fear of being alone was even greater. He said, ‘If she goes and I can go with her, then I’ll go with her.’ And I said, ‘Okay, let’s find out.'”
Corinne then began checking her father’s suitability for the procedure. “It was surreal to basically defend my father’s death,” he points out. With a history of minor strokes, he was allowed to participate. “It’s, in a way, the most painful paradox there is: the last thing you want is to see your mother leave, and yet you’re the one helping her.”
In the following weeks he prepared special dinners and relived childhood memories to reciprocate all the affection he received from his parents.
Choice of the day
On July 27, 2021, the day before Eva’s birthday, Corinne was given lethal drugs. “The boy from the pharmacy brought two white packages, stapled together. One with my mother’s name, the other with my father’s. Now I was the keeper of the deadly powder.”
The family also played a bit in choosing the date. “I said, ‘I have this ridiculous idea: Friday the 13th is coming, let’s do it on that day! I’m kidding!’ And my mom says, ‘Okay, maybe’.” So Eva and Druse decided to die together on August 13, 2021.
The day before Corinne had prepared the farewell dinner.
“We called it Last Happy Hour, instead of Last Supper. I made my dad’s favorite snacks, we toasted with wine, then he went to sleep. My mom and I stayed on the balcony talking until she went to bed. I asked to lie down with her for a while… it was perfect.”
The next morning, Corinne and her husband were at her parents’ house, accompanied by two counselors from the End of Life Washington organization, which guides families through the process. “They made the cocktail, we talked, we exchanged intimate moments. My parents sat on the bed, holding hands, and talked before taking the medicine. We put on some music, toasted with a glass of wine and drank. About ten minutes later, they fell asleep.”
“The process can take hours, but in their case, in less than an hour, they were gone. The music continued to play and we were left there with them.”
At noon the nurse officially confirmed the deaths. Corinne remained next to the bodies. That night he collapsed. “They were going to a place where I couldn’t go with them, and that’s just incomprehensible.”
Today Corinne shares her experience as a way to broaden the conversation about death. “We need to talk about it. It’s going to happen to us, and fear won’t stop it.”
“What I find absurd is that we can, as human beings, alleviate the suffering of our animals and no one questions it, but in so many states we cannot alleviate the suffering of the people we love most. If our time has come, we should have options.”
Source: Terra
Rose James is a Gossipify movie and series reviewer known for her in-depth analysis and unique perspective on the latest releases. With a background in film studies, she provides engaging and informative reviews, and keeps readers up to date with industry trends and emerging talents.
