To surprise and delight external customers, leaders must develop a strong culture of empathy and kindness “at home”
The concept of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) was systematized by the American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, who, inspired by the nonviolent resistance struggles of Gandhi and Martin Luther King, brought to light techniques to improve personal and professional relationships.
Nonviolent communication is based on language and communication skills that empower humanity. And this applies to all spheres. How you, the leader, communicate with your team has a total influence on how they deal with obstacles at work, for example to achieve sales targets.
In his book “Nonviolent Communication: Techniques for Improving Personal and Professional Relationships,” Rosenberg addresses the importance of how we communicate, having witnessed and experienced episodes of violence generated by racism and prejudice in his childhood, but he also observed reactions of compassion even under adverse circumstances.
The 4 pillars of nonviolent communication
1. Observation
Observe what actually happened, don’t jump to conclusions or make judgments before analyzing the facts.
2. Sensation
We often think we are expressing our feelings, but in reality we rely on how the other person is behaving. Expressing feelings is related to our vulnerability.
3. Need
Rosenberg’s own speech says that “behind every action is a universal human need.” In summary, this is related to empathy and helps us improve the way we communicate, as we all have the same human needs.
4. Order
Great way to show how people can contribute to us. Clarity in communicating a request is also a way of clarifying how we want our needs to be met. It is worth remembering that one must be mature enough to receive both a yes and a no, otherwise it would not be a request but an imposition.
Nonviolent communication between leaders and their work groups
NVC has been used for a long time by some professionals who instinctively adopted it as a practice in humanized management, even before the concept was developed by Marshall.
A company that uses NVC internally has a great advantage, because by inserting this concept into the organizational culture, employees and partners will feel motivated to replicate this good practice internally, in their networks, in their businesses, in their communities and, of course, together with external customers.
The systematized concept of Nonviolent Communication has arrived to contribute to the understanding of practice and application to develop humanized language skills.
Some of the areas that most need and can benefit from the practice of NVC are: commercial, customer service and sales, which must be agile and use a lot of verbal communication, both virtual and in person.
This strong relationship between nonviolent communication and humanized service contributes to the fact that, by listening to what customers need, the salesperson can observe what emotions permeate the conversation and negotiation. Words used correctly and empathetically can earn customer trust and effectively generate sales.
However, my focus here will be on the relationship between leaders and those who lead. After all, it is impossible to surprise and please customers if leaders do not develop a humanized culture “at home”. Kindness and empathy come “from the inside out.” Therefore, the following lines have the humble intention of clarifying the matter and inspiring leaders to relate better to their subordinates.
Example of how to apply Nonviolent Communication
Let’s say you, the leader/manager of a sales team, need to talk to a salesperson about their declining performance, then you will express your dissatisfaction and of course take steps to improve results.
How communication can be using NVC:
“John, I’ve noticed that you’ve seen a decline in your sales and I want you to know that I’m here for you (note). I worry, because you are very important to our team, I know your potential. I get charged a lot too. But, even in the face of the negative result, I am optimistic and excited about the next month (sensation). I really need you to open up to me and tell me what’s going on (need). There’s an online negotiation training course that I’ve done before and I’d like you to do it too, because I believe it will help you leverage your sales. How about starting this week? (request)”
This way of expressing yourself is much more intelligent, polite and efficient. Instead of giving in to anger and impatience, prioritize a kinder tone of communication to avoid misunderstandings between parties, dissatisfaction on all sides, and possibly a decline in employee performance.
NVC is a two-way street. Knowing how to emit words and knowing how to react to received words. We need to enhance the following skills:
- 1) Clarity in the way of communicating;
- 2) Empathy in addressing needs;
- 3) Ability to adapt to new situations;
- 4) Maturity to know how to listen to criticism;
- 5) Leadership skills.
Careful with words
From childhood we are bombarded with words that can hurt our soul for the rest of our lives, whether within our own family, at school or in the neighborhood where we live, everyone has a story to tell and we survive until one day we will need to align our feelings with the way we act and react.
When we become adults we are placed in a sort of defense universe and, many times, without realizing it, we use aggressive language. As a response to behaviors, we hurt because we have been hurt or exercise compassion because we feel grateful.
We really need to practice NVC if we want a better world, more professional and excellent care and service, and kinder relationships with colleagues and clients.
Observe how your team behaves in the face of adversity, how they communicate and even how they react to criticism.
For a sales team to apply NVC it ​​is important to exercise the four pillars from the inside out. In this way, I believe that the technique will be a great ally in the interpersonal relationships, employee engagement and retention and also to get results with clients.
This article was first written for the blog rewarda digital rewards and rewards platform, a partner company of Homework.
LaÃze Damasceno is a journalist, writer, LinkedIn Top Voice, humanized content specialist, and founder of Marketing de Kindness, a content creation, education, and consulting firm that helps brands be more humane, kind, influential, and thriving.🇧🇷
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Camila Luna is a writer at Gossipify, where she covers the latest movies and television series. With a passion for all things entertainment, Camila brings her unique perspective to her writing and offers readers an inside look at the industry. Camila is a graduate from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) with a degree in English and is also a avid movie watcher.
