Useful betrayal: does it happen?

There is an opinion that a mistress can become a woman’s assistant if she does not cope with something in a relationship – does not give a man enough emotions, sex, support or any other something he absolutely needs. In this case, the husband is looking for a specialist on the side who will do work for her that he is not interested in – such as hired cleaning, but not cleaning, and often not for money. And if the mistress fits well in the right position, the family is strengthened.

Everything in me protests against this idea, so there must be something in it. I can only say that for an intelligent person everything is medicine, but for a fool everything is poison. But for such a scheme to succeed, three intelligent and rational people must come together, which rarely happens.

A lover must be intelligent, who is fully aware of his position in this system – with a lower status than his wife – and who supports it (it doesn’t seem so difficult, you can go to work as a waitress if you don’t have failed to become a cafe hostess). Her plans do not include marriage or the destruction of the family in which she was the third. Relations with an unfree person are somehow convenient for him and give him certain bonuses, psychological, material or otherwise, that he needs. These benefits are important to her right now, not in the long term (“I’ll wait a while, then he’ll divorce” doesn’t work). And she sincerely does not want marriage and children at the moment, neither with him nor with anyone else. And when her priorities change, she’ll come out of those relationships as smoothly and fairly as possible.

A man must fully understand what kind of structure he has created and wish to preserve it. He does not intend to change the place of the characters in this story, he loves and respects the two women, each in her capacity. He is not selfish and knows that everyone should have their preferences, and he has the resources to provide them. It’s impossible to simply tap into the energy of two women without giving anything back. That is, it is possible, but not for long, and it will not strengthen his family.

Well, the woman will have nothing to notice. His well-being depends on the care of these two, and his business is to turn away in time. And if (when) he notices this, he will not destroy the harem, but will accept the role of the elder woman, realize its advantages and use them to the full. Her feelings really shouldn’t be hurt, if she just decides to be patient, it won’t help. No, the wife is really okay that her husband is having fun elsewhere, but she benefits from it… (and there should be a clear list of benefits that make her happy).

It’s up to you, but I don’t believe three people with similar motivations and abilities converge as often as that saying about a good leftist is used. Especially when love gets involved, dictating its own rules. In a situation of pure naked calculation on the part of the three, for example, the emotional content, for which men generally hunt outside of marriage, can be lost, and why is it all then?

But we certainly shouldn’t rule out happy coincidences, so yes, it is possible.

Can a woman’s betrayal at least theoretically strengthen a marriage? It will surely be possible to invent some conditions for this, although women are still too emotionally vulnerable to have sex on the side, not only to stay safe for the main relationship, but also to benefit them. Decorate your life – yes, it will certainly work, but against the background of a lively romance it is quite difficult not to devalue domestic joys. Unless they are completely rational women who keep a lover “for health” or “for the soul”, and consider their husband as a true partner. But usually, traitors of both sexes try to rationalize their antics in retrospect, trying to explain why it’s downright necessary and useful to them. But in fact, they just take what they want, and only then make excuses.

If we talk about my subjective opinion, then I don’t like it when a person tries not only to climb a Christmas tree and not peel his ass off, but also to maintain the appearance of a real lady ( it is clear that this person can be both a lady and a gentleman). It seems quite natural to me that you want it all, but you have to be aware: Sitting on a Christmas tree in tinfoil pants, it’s hard to look perfect. The only way out is to indulge in secrecy, but if convicted, repent or refuse to comment.

Unfortunately, it is very difficult not to talk too much. So too often you have to observe not only explanations and justifications, but also a counter-attack: indeed, I couldn’t have done otherwise, it was a necessity, a natural decision. Either another culprit is hastily named – “the woman herself ruined everything, the mistress insidiously seduced.” Or an innocent face is made at all – “what, is it different? And not everyone does that? Yes, I made two women happy with my last strength, and you are screaming! Now my life is broken, I am a victim!

It’s not that I’m against all sorts of outrage, but I’m genuinely upset when they try to pass off the filthy frank as the norm. A bad precedent is set, the idea of ​​morality is distorted among innocent souls, and the amount of evil in the world increases slightly (though barely noticeably).