Sex is not for sex: why do we agree?

Interestingly, if women only listened to their bodies, would we have more or less sex on average? On the one hand, morality, a sense of duty and moral principles are excellent for limiting natural impulses. On the other hand, we sometimes agree to sleep, without wanting it at all.

It starts in adolescence. Hormones do not always require sexual activity in young girls, but relationships, love and intimacy are already very desirable. Talking for hours, walking and kissing – all this is still included in the concept of “friendship”, but young men expect much more. And little by little an understanding emerges: if you want to have a guy next to you, be nice to give in. For a girl in love, the choice is obvious, so she accepts, even if she is not ready yet.

Slightly older girls who are interested not only in their peers also experience this situation. He’s so mature, so smart, bossy, and me? I would like him to watch with interest in response, listen, respect your opinion. Attention and communication are even more necessary than sex, but in order not to lose a meaningful mature partner, you have to rush things.

Sometimes sex just happens because “it’s meant to be”. Over time, girls who don’t care about relationships—yes, there are—start to put pressure on them from all sides. Everyone has guys, and you’re alone, it’s time to find someone at least “healthy”, not to mention a family. One day someone more or less suitable appears, so why not, even if there was no special chemistry or sparks or anything.

Women also have sex out of friendship or gratitude. A loyal fan who cares, loves and is always there. You can, of course, keep him in the friend zone until he runs out of patience, but you don’t want to lose, and it’s a shame to offend him. I hugged him like a friend, and then he’s kind of himself.

By the way, about pity. “She fell in love with him for pain” is by no means a poetic exaggeration. A woman, especially an adult, is capable of overflowing with sympathy to the point of prolonging the care of an unfortunate person until bedtime. There was once such a word “regretted” – fed, watered and put to bed (with me), took pity on the peasant, took a sip. It smacks of unsustainable archaism, but it’s happening. There are so many heroes who are complex, misunderstood, not completely washed out, who are heartbroken, who don’t get along with work, and in general everything is complicated. The women begin to help in any way they can and get carried away imperceptibly.

And more often than not, we choose the passionless sex of loneliness. Teenage girls and mature women are equal here. Living without any kind of closeness, warmth and understanding is difficult at any age. And if you have to pay for the presence of another person in your life with boring sex, you accept this condition.

True, in other languages ​​there is also an analogue of the saying “be patient, fall in love”, but Russian women with her on their lips for centuries went down the aisle with the unloved. Sometimes it turned out to “fall in love”, sometimes life shattered beyond repair. But now, free women in a free country don’t have to rape each other, so you better follow the moment of learned humility and ask yourself the question “do I really want this” in time.

You don’t want to have sex with this man if:

Erotic conversations with him and allusions to sex cause excruciating awkwardness. We don’t all like it and don’t all know how to talk about it, but there’s a difference between embarrassment and disgust. You’re not just talking, you’re not even interested in thinking about sex with this person.

You don’t want to touch it. No, you can, if necessary, but maintain constant physical contact, sit next to each other, touch with your fingertips, accidentally touch your thigh – nooo, why else?! If you wanted it, you wouldn’t have asked for it.

You don’t like his smell, even a clean body, and when he sweats a little – fu. No passion can stand the three-day scent of an unwashed man, but a faint natural scent normally attracts, not repels, as a fumigator does a mosquito.

The sight of your common bed does not cause pleasant excitement. It’s a subtle, subtle moment, but women who are happy in sex have a special feeling for their bed. Even when they launch into it with the sole mood of “finally sleeping”, there is always a certain happy background of a bed of love for them. If you were looking for a place of power in your home, then this is it – where you have great sex.

And it’s terribly insulting to deprive yourself of it when you have endured, but have not fallen in love, and the person is just suitable, but not wanted. Every woman chooses for herself what is most important to her in a relationship, but that’s a shame.