People who are impossible to get close to and those who won’t let you out of the suffocating embrace may suffer from a common “disease” that makes relationships unbearable.
It is easy to recognize the eternal loner: even if he has a family with a bunch of children, he is still tragically free. No matter how much people surround him, no matter how strong his ties, he is at any time ready to complain about the misunderstanding of his neighbors, the emptiness of his heart and complete loneliness. However, if you are lucky enough to observe a gloomy hermit from the outside, without being his wife or his girlfriend, you will never suspect that he has someone. It seems that even about his honeymoon he will write “I went to Europe”, not to mention small events: vacations, walks, business. Always only “I visited”, “I bought”, “I had a son”. Although he is quite capable of keeping silent about the last fact.
The thing is that a loner with great difficulty admits existing relationships out loud, is always open to new ones and will hide his constant girlfriend until the last opportunity. This is usually motivated by the fact that he does not like to advertise his personal life, but in fact he is sure that no living woman is worthy of the treasures of his heart, therefore, while the body is interrupted by random connections, the soul waits for the ideal love. Do you sleep with him for six months? It does not count. Either he hasn’t figured out his feelings yet and is afraid of intimacy just in case, or he’s already disappointed in you because you said or did something hurtful that was inconsistent with his image of well-being. loved. They probably said you weren’t in a coma, so you said and did at least something, and that’s enough to find fault. No, he’s not ready to leave, but he’s already realized that you’re not Her. Well, SHE is the one he is ready to wait for all his life, being so far away in your imperfect society.
ADVERTISEMENT – CONTINUED BELOW
Sooner or later, you’ll realize that no matter how much you kiss this ice toad, he won’t warm up, turn into a person, or appreciate your efforts. You will leave with great relief and swear to only contact men who can love you and say so unequivocally. And then there is a high probability that Velcro will show up for you.
At first it will seem that the Lord has heard your prayers and decided to reward you – so much warmth and adoration will fall on you. He will talk about love three days after they meet, and after the first sexual intercourse he will clarify that you are almost married. He will change his status in social networks, hang joint photos, decorate the house with new shelves for your cosmetics and put pink slippers with soft toys on the threshold.
This, of course, is happiness, only you still know little about this person and are somewhat bewildered. He calls all the time, writes sweet text messages, lives from meeting to meeting, and you feel guilty because it’s too fast for love. With a careful attempt to restore distance, offended to death. The first scene can happen literally in a week – you didn’t answer the phone and you tore her heart to pieces. That’s not a reason to leave, but enough to make you realize you’re a pig and a toad from the first paragraph.
The sad thing is that it is impossible to feed a velcro. You can even start living together, he will still blame you for the lack of attention, the presence of girlfriends, the desire to be alone at least in the bathroom and in the “detached mimicry”. You won’t be able to convince him of your love with anything, so, out of pain and mistrust, he may begin to secretly change. Very soon, I must say, it will start, but you trampled on his feelings the first week, as we remember, and you still trample them.
Probably, people will say that you are sneering – a solitaire and Velcro are so different, but not everything is the case for you. In fact, they are similar. Both have a problem with intimacy and boundaries, they don’t know how to create the right distance so as not to turn away from a partner and “hurt” about him. In addition, over the course of a person’s life is able to “molt” Velcro alone and upside down. One woman wanted air and thus broke his heart – and the next he will torment with stories about how he is afraid of pain and how unbearably lonely he feels. An intimophobe is capable of deciding one day that he has met the One and clings to her like an octopus. In any case, it will be an unhealthy and painful relationship, because such relationships do not know how to go normally – either suffocate or freeze. And they will always blame you for everything. Well, who else?
Source: The Voice Mag

Emma Jack is a writer at Gossipify, covering fashion, beauty, lifestyle, and pop culture trends. She stays current on the latest trends and offers readers up-to-date information on what’s hot in the industry. With a background in fashion journalism from Parsons School of Design, she offers a unique perspective and analysis of current trends.