Signs of a bad partner: what exactly should not be forgiven?

Everyone has their own flaws, many of them can be endured, especially during the period of falling in love. At this time, everything seems sweet and endearing: he is not redneck and redneck, but simply distracted; not a pathological liar, but a man of imagination; not a fool, but a simpleton! Some properties of this type are easier to get used to if you yourself are not perfect in the same places. You’ll eat cookies together in bed, be late for the same hour, or cut half your salary the first week of the month. But his other traits can hurt you in the future. I have compiled my list of the most unpleasant sins, each of them is not a reason to break, but if you notice more than half of the signs in a person, you need to concentrate and change the rose-colored glasses to lenses with diopters.

British scientists have found that if every time people blamed someone else for their own mistakes, they put a dollar aside in a road repair fund, the whole Earth would be covered in a triple layer of asphalt. In the interest of saving the global ecology, it is perhaps best that this does not happen. But it is very harmful for your personal ecology to deal with a person who does not know how to apologize and admit his mistakes. It starts funny: you broke a cup – it’s because you put it in the wrong place; mixed up the trick – distracted by your chatter. For a while you can even agree with this, indeed, you need to be more careful yourself, you should not crawl arm in arm with questions. But then it will not be funny, because you will be responsible for everything. He got drunk because he was upset by a mean look; shouted – she asked for it; followed a random girl – and what did you want with such an attitude. With what? And that’s okay, for every one of his tricks there’s a reason on your part.

Another dangerous trait will become noticeable when you actually do something and feel guilty. Beware if you’ve apologized and seem to be forgiven, but in a week or two you’ll be blamed for it again. Sometimes joking, sometimes seriously. And again, and again. Guilt will float like a dead fish, and then new one will be added to it, because everyone has minor problems from time to time. Gradually, your man will form a long list of demands, which he will read regularly. Nothing is written off, everything is put on file and used against you because he can’t forgive. One day it will turn out that you deserve all the dirt and all the bad treatment – look at everything you’ve done!

Even if you manage to be blameless, you can hardly do without difficult times in your life. Illnesses, problems at work, quarrels with parents, financial losses – you never know the times when you are weak and need help. And it is completely unforgivable if your partner is eliminated without even giving him moral support. “First of all, it’s not a problem, but a kind of absurdity; second, she herself is responsible for bringing the matter to a crisis; Third, I’m terribly busy right now, and your moans have become unbearable. So think for yourself and call when you’re done.” If you hear this suddenly, I strongly advise against calling back.

There are non-obvious gaps that depend on, say, gravity. For example, each of us has our own complexes, weak and painful points. The question is to know how much we focus on it. It’s one thing if he worries a bit about his appearance, his social status or his upbringing – everyone lacks confidence in their own merits. The other is when he has an unhealed wound in place of pride, so he perceives every remark on a sore subject as a rebuke. “Let’s go to the cafe, this restaurant is too fancy. “Ahh, so I can’t afford a decent seat?!” Or: “I got a promotion at work. “Now don’t you need a loser like me?” No matter what his problem is, the main thing is that you can’t be delicate enough not to offend him. He will pull any sentence under his complexes and will be deeply offended.

And the main shortcomings are supplemented with ordinary stupidity. The image of a simple-hearted, “but honest” fool is sometimes even sympathetic against the background of too cunning and complex personalities. But let hope for an honest partnership with a fool: at a critical moment, he will let you down not out of malice, but simply because he will be attracted by indistinct benefit or pleasure, he will let go too much, do not understand the seriousness of the moment , spend your common money on spills or jump with an umbrella from the second floor – that is, it will create something cute, childish and completely overwhelming, and you can’t even calculate it at the advance. Stupidity is unpredictable and therefore invincible.

However, your personal list of insufferables doesn’t have to coincide with mine, just remember the rule of thumb. You can be nice and put up with a lot of things, but don’t settle for things that make you a victim. No relationship is worth it.

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