Sometimes saying goodbye is harder than it looks. One wrong word and you remain enemies. A poorly thought-out ending leads to love addictions, revenge and pain. How to make the separation of a man as environmentally friendly as possible? We understand.
Simple but important rules
Choose the right place for the conversation
Your or her apartment, your favorite pub or the local restaurant where you had your first date is not an option. All these places have an emotional value for him, it will be extremely unpleasant to associate them with a tragic end. The apartment, on the other hand, is a personal territory, a conversation that can break the intimacy, the feeling of “kennel”. In addition, it is desirable that you and him have the opportunity to easily leave the premises without looking around and without asking permission. A small, quiet yard, a park, or a cafe are good options. There may be people, but not too many people: it is advisable not to leave witnesses to this unpleasant conversation.
look what you look like
Don’t wear a provocative tight dress to make her “regret everything”, avoid accessories and prints with aggressive accents. Such an appearance can be perceived as a challenge, a desire to struggle and not complete an unsuccessful romance. Too attractive appearance is also an attempt to establish power in this situation, a kind of manipulation. Old or stale clothes can be perceived as spitting – they say, you don’t respect me so much that you haven’t even changed your T-shirt to speak… Put on something neutral and simple, moderately comfortable and neat.
No breakup sex, goodbye kisses and other physical manifestations
First, why would you want to seduce a man you decide to say goodbye to? And secondly, to completely forget about all the bad things, you have to spend some time at a distance. It’s like getting rid of a bad habit: since you decided to stop having martinis in the evening, you no longer have anything to do in the clubs. Until he let go.
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Find a way forward
One of the pitfalls that keep us coming back to an ex is endlessly ruminating on a relationship that no longer exists. And even though you think about how bad it was for you, in the end, you still focus on that. You need something to fill the void left in your heart by all that was going on between you. Some people need a few good movies and a packet of chocolates, others need a course in forensics or a few volumes of Victorian novels. Or a psychologist, at worst. If you don’t know exactly what can change you, choose what you really want at the moment. Besides, sport helps to chase away anger, intellectual pastimes, like lectures, to fill the head, art to rationalize emotions and creativity to understand oneself.
Remember that you are emotionally vulnerable right now.
Do you think a new man will help you deal with what happened? Or that after a breakup, it’s time to boost your self-esteem through unbridled flirtation? You are probably right, but keep in mind: during this period, you especially clearly perceive all members of the opposite sex. Your wound is not yet healed, do not rush to embark on the adventure. Wait at least until the event of the last few days ceases to cause you emotions.
