“Honey, you can’t take it anymore”: where does sex disappear from a relationship

When, on the first date, he walked you to the door and didn’t try to kiss you, you think: God, so delicate. When you first stay with him, and he is very gentle, but then he stops “on the doorstep” again, you start to think he is a psychopath. Or something is wrong with you. What is going on?

All versions have a right to life and the easiest, of course, is to ask him. But how many of us, those who, in a delicate situation, know how to ask directly what is wrong? Moreover, it is not a fact that you will hear the truth in response.

Most often, adult men delay having sex. And it can usually be due to sad physiological reasons. In this case, a frank conversation cannot be avoided, and it is really important: at least you will understand whether it makes sense to continue the relationship.

Unfortunately, impressionable women often fall into the trap of impotence…well, let’s say cold men. She has already fallen in love, he is exceptionally affectionate and attentive to her, at times it begins to seem that sex is not so important. Again, many toys have been invented for this occasion.

I implore you on behalf of Freud’s grandfather and the sexiest guy you’ve ever had: stop. When you have lived in love and harmony for twenty years, care, tenderness and a vibrator are an argument. A man is deeply dear to you, you have long been “one flesh” and somehow face technical difficulties, if only he were healthy. But starting a new relationship without sex, for the sole pleasure of feelings, is pure madness. We don’t want to discredit men because of the quality of their potency, but you can just be friends with a good person and out of love look for someone stronger.

Another reason for restraint, also understandable, but more offensive to you, is another woman. For example, he has a parallel romantic relationship with someone desirable but not as suitable as you. More often than not, young girls act as unwitting rivals: he wants her, but you’re somehow closer in age, smarter, more interesting, brighter…but you want that one. Therefore, he keeps you with him until he takes care of his passions. It is disgusting, it is desirable to recognize it in time and immediately stop.

The “not my type” argument falls into the same category. He likes you, but his penis doesn’t like you, so it’s a shame to let you go, but there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s embarrassing to admit such a man, and it would hurt you to hear him, so it’s usually impossible to clarify the issue in words. Disperse in silence, like at a funeral.

And there is a rare but nonetheless real problem that happens to young partners and usually goes away quickly: contracted STDs. Of course, that says a lot about how responsible your new man is, but what matters here is how you were told about it. If a man, even if he is afraid to scare, but honestly confesses, it is better than if he stubbornly lies. It is then obvious that he intends to continue to hide the richness of his sex life from you.

When sex disappears from a long relationship, it’s a more complicated story. We’ve already mentioned partners who’ve been married for decades – they’ve been through so much over the years that they get by without our advice.

And when a relationship is 3-5-8 years old, it’s already a family or just a long-standing solid relationship in which there is a lot of good, but sex has disappeared – how then?

Good lovers know that in difficult situations in bed, the tongue saves. Talk.

Unfortunately, this is easier to advise than to do, because misunderstandings and resentments accumulate, it becomes more and more difficult for you to discuss unpleasant things and not to launch into mutual accusations.

“Yes, you don’t want me yourself, you’ve always seen me, you’re lazy, you let yourself go, you’re always sitting on the phone and you don’t want anything.”

Most likely, both are right in their assertions, but this is only the consequence of a big problem in the pair. Sex no longer interests you, that’s the main thing.

Would it be nice to know if you don’t like sex with each other or in general? Start with yourself, try to understand why you no longer feel like cuddling and flirting with this man.

If you want it, but it does not react, there can be several reasons for this.

You don’t have sex anymore because another woman is having sex now.

The man has accumulated personal problems that devour all his attention and strength.

He is ill and has purely technical sexual difficulties.

He doesn’t want you anymore, because he stopped loving you.

The latter is the most difficult thing for both parties to admit, she insults you and it is difficult for her to understand that the warmth and tenderness have remained and the sexual desire has disappeared.

In this case, you will need a psychologist more than ever. He has the skills to bring the most distant couples to talk and clarify their feelings. As a result, the family is not always preserved, but clarity comes in relationships and perspectives open up.

Options are possible, and the one thing I want to say for sure: please don’t exclude sex from your life – it’s an endless source of joy that doesn’t make you fat.