What does the behavior of men say after quarrels? The opinion of the psychologist

“I’m not used to holding back my emotions, but then I calm down quickly. My man knows about it and after giving me a few hours he calls as if nothing had happened.”

“Such behavior is one of the simplest methods of psychological defense. The young man is not ready to solve problems and hopes that everything will work out. This reaction is a ticking time bomb. If one of the partners ignores the problems or delays in solving them, then one day so much will accumulate that the relationship will simply fall apart. Such behavior is typical of especially courageous types – they are not used to it and do not know how to discuss their feelings.

“If you collect all the flowers my beloved brought me after our quarrels, you can open a shop. But I’d rather he just said, “I was wrong.”

“If this happens every once in a while, it’s nothing to worry about, but if trying to resolve disputes with freebies is the only way to resolve the issue, it’s worth considering. First of all, such a person doesn’t have a very high opinion of women if he believes their favors can be bought cheesy Secondly, he doesn’t really appreciate the partner as a person and doesn’t even try to understand her. Don’t expect a sincere apology from him. But of course, you should talk to him about it.

“Almost every argument we have ends up in bed. Sometimes it’s easier for me to silently accept than to explain why I’m not in the mood.

“A young man is unable to achieve complete emotional intimacy with a partner and tries to replace it with physical intimacy. He wants life to be a continuous stream of pleasures, he is not ready for the There may also be a macho complex: to feel your own importance, your man just needs to be sure that no one will ever be able to resist his charm and strength.

“My husband is a non-confrontational person. As soon as he sees that I’m starting to boil, he launches his catchphrase: “Do as you want”.

“It seems that the partner is trying to keep the peace at all costs. Why? If we rule out self-interest, then the most likely explanation is this: in these relationships, there is no room for equality. Husband is emotionally too dependent on his wife, unsure of his love, afraid of losing her, or feels he is already losing.

“My favorite is a lawyer and when we argue he behaves like in a criminal trial. Reconcile and accept only on the condition that I first admit my guilt.

“Feeling loved and happy with such a character is not easy. One can say that such a man behaves like this not because he is a lawyer, but rather because he just became a lawyer in order to constantly prove something to someone. Perhaps his parents were too bossy, and as a child it was difficult for him to insist on his own. He is determined, stubborn, persistent in achieving his goals and does not hesitate too much to choose the means. The girl is dear to him in his own way, but his inflated ego does not allow him even for a moment to suggest that he may be wrong.

“After our spats, he bombards me with messages. I don’t even know when he even finds the time to write them, because he is a driver and is always on the road.

“Individuals who prefer to act through messages, social media and phone calls are insecure and afraid of many things. It just is. This type of man is afraid of his partner’s reaction, afraid of being rejected, incomprehensible, afraid of not finding the right words. He is a bit slow, reluctant to react quickly, he needs time to think about the situation. Relationships are important to him, but he sometimes lacks determination. Communicating with such a person, you yourself will have to take the initiative.

“When I’m sulking, my boyfriend imitates me sitting there looking so unapproachable. It’s very hard to be mad at someone who makes me laugh!

“You can be reassured: you are really dear to him and he sincerely wishes that everything goes well for you. He is full of surprises, easy-going, sociable, indulgent, good-natured and charming. But the desire to turn the conflict into a joke nevertheless speaks of a certain infantilism. Maybe he just doesn’t think the problem is important and sincerely doesn’t understand why you’re still sulking.

“The G20 meetings are child’s play compared to the way we deal with our problems. It seems to me that discussing a little spat for three hours is too much.

“I see no reason to worry here – it’s the behavior of a mature, self-confident person who truly loves his girlfriend and values ​​her opinion. He is reliable, unadventurous, cautious, calm, patient , fair, has an analytical mind. Sometimes it seems a bit boring, but that’s only because he likes order in everything and approaches problem solving in this way: systematically and in depth.

We thank psychologist Olga Shishalova for her help in preparing the material.