By day – a consultant, by night – a dominatrix: the true story of a BDSM club employee

“The first thing I thought of that day was how to dress for an interview. I couldn’t ask my mother or the researcher for advice. So I called the human resources manager at the company that invited me and I directly asked. She laughed and replied, “Don’t come dressed as a cat. Wear what you think is appropriate for a job interview.

Yes, I was going to work… a dominatrix! And what are they going to ask me? How many years have I worked in this field? Did I try this or that? I just learned a lot on the internet (say, about spanking or rough play with your genitals), and it seemed to me, for example, that oral sex was an important part of the process.

In general, I studied at university as an archaeologist. This job seemed so romantic to me when I was a child! I graduated, went to work, and money meant nothing. But in the real world, it wasn’t like that. Archaeologists should fight for scientific grants, not sit at desks and gradually increase their positions and salaries.

And I decided to stop everything, but I had no idea where to go next. She worked in consulting, then in the purchase of medical equipment. It was interesting, but when I started thinking about the future, everything immediately became boring and predictable.

Nothing interesting happened in his personal life either. During my studies, there were several novels, but I did not understand exactly what I wanted. I tried to become what they wanted me to be.

I once read one of the romance novels that my mother loves. And there was a scene where a woman was almost forced to have sex, and then she liked it. And I became addicted to this idea! I’ve never tried anything like that, I was even embarrassed to ask my partner something in bed: what if he’s laughing at me?

And I hid my BDSM fantasies far and wide. It was still two years before the release of Fifty Shades of Gray, and there was little information. After another boring day at work, I did a search query “BDSM”. Between pornography and graphomania, I found the address of the club in my hometown. The banner read: “Recruitment in progress. Experience is not required! And I called. After all, I had nothing to lose!

That’s how I got this interview. I wanted to learn more about sex and BDSM, and hoped that I would be taught everything. And it happened.

The training literally started from the bottom: I started working as a “bottom” to experience all that is pain and humility before offering it to others. I didn’t really like it, but I felt like I had to go through it all. Between sessions, I sat in the locker room and asked professional dominatrixes a bunch of questions. How to properly tie the hands? How much pressure can be applied to the scrotum?

They were all different. Someone was a lawyer, someone played in an orchestra – for many, working in a club was a hobby. What, moreover, made it possible to pay the invoices more quickly than the work of a secretary or a barista. The attitude towards newcomers was great, I felt their support every day.

Customers were divided into two categories: those who knew where and why they were going (our photos and preferences were on the site), and those who had not yet decided. With these, mini-interviews were conducted on their expectations and desires, and someone said clearly what they wanted, while someone formulated it at length and spoke aloud for the first time. It was necessary to carefully scrutinize what the customer wants.

For me, it was important to understand what I want. In part, I followed the interests of the client: for example, I could be naughty or nice, tough or soft. I was terribly afraid to bind myself and tried not to, but I really liked spanking and anything done with my hands. Some women find it unpleasant to watch men on their knees, but I was wondering how and what to say and do to a man to make him feel worthless?

An hour of work cost about 5,000 rubles, in addition to which many clients gave tips that could exceed several times the price of the session. For example, I was given 20 thousand for giving me (!) a foot massage while I insulted him!

I worked there for two years at night, during which time I paid off debts and took out a mortgage. I stopped constantly worrying that there was no money and even opened a bank deposit. The day I worked in a consulting firm, and in the end, that’s why I left the club: I started to evolve in position and salary, there were more worries and responsibilities . In addition, a double life, of course, excites, but over time, literally everyone gets tired of lying.

True, now everyone already knows this fact from my biography – and, oddly enough, they support it. I told my husband long before the wedding, and he listened, then said my background made me the woman he fell in love with. We have a one-year-old son, and when he grows up he will also learn this job.

Do I miss this job? A little. Mainly because of this unusual connection with customers. In ordinary life we ​​often try to be the best versions of ourselves, we go through every step, we are afraid of being condemned for some reason, we flaunt what is not really important. And in BDSM sessions, a lot of people open up and aren’t afraid to show their weaknesses. Some people never experience anything like this in their entire lives.