7 major mistakes that everyone makes in bed: the opinion of sexologists

British sexologist Ruby Payne and her colleagues talked about what not to do in bed – a total of five points were included in the anti-rating of intimate habits.

According to Ruby, orgasm is just a “happy byproduct” of sex, but not its meaning. Too much focus on orgasm makes both people feel too much pressure, which kills the mood. The sexologist advises not to focus on the climax, but just to enjoy the process without thinking about the result every second.

The number two atmosphere killer is time. Of course, many couples have sex under “extreme” conditions – for example, knowing that in 15 minutes the children will be home from school. And yet, you should not watch the clock, but it is still better to plan the situation so that it is not necessary.

We all usually turn to proven methods, and when it comes to sex, we’re no exception. However, Ruby believes that sometimes it is worth being curious – it will help make your intimate life more interesting and demonstrate to your partner that the process has not turned into boring marital homework for you. Another sexologist – Kate Moyle – explains that you should not be afraid of novelty. The main thing is not to start experiments out of the blue, but to discuss your desires in advance.

A few drinks can lift your spirits, but when there’s too much alcohol, it will only ruin everything. “If you’re planning an erotic game night, try to limit the amount of alcohol you drink, otherwise the alcohol will just drown out all the sensations and prevent you from having fun,” says sex and relationship coach Ness Cooper.

Adult life is a time when the whole day is jam-packed. Unsurprisingly, we are all tired, and it affects our sex drive. Ruby thinks it’s important not to take rejection personally. It happens that one person is hungry and the second is not, right? Sex should be treated the same, and not plunge into the abyss of despair, filled with thoughts “He no longer wants and loves me no more”.

Language during sex should be used primarily for the purpose for which it was designed – to ask a partner what he likes, what he dislikes and what else he would like. “If you try something new, make sure it’s not right for you. You don’t have to ask about it every five seconds, but still don’t forget the dialogue,” says Ruby.

Our mood changes depending on whether we are hungry or have recently had a heavy dinner. “A person who lacks energy will not be able to express themselves fully during sexual games. Sex is a physical activity, and we need foods that will give us strength, “says Ness. With overeating, the situation is reversed – we become too lethargic Ness advises a light dinner – this will be the best option before an active night.

Both the cold and the heat make us uncomfortable. According to Ness, this makes it difficult to enjoy sex, so it’s very important to make sure no one in the room is cold or sweaty.

On our behalf, we want to add the eighth error – thinking that only you have to follow the rules. Remember a man should behave exactly the same – don’t make a scene if you’re not in the mood, express your ideas beforehand and if you’re ok – don’t forget not to clarify in the process whether their implementation turned out to be something interesting or it is better to stop the experiment directly now.