How to change your approach to sex after 40: expert advice

Here’s what, according to sexologists and psychologists, you need to do to make the passion between you flare up again.

“We usually think of sex as a sexual act, but it’s more correct to think of it as intimate physical contact. Physical intimacy, not vaginal penetration, is the key to a healthy relationship. Only 20% of women are able to achieve an orgasm through penetration, so broaden your horizons and look for various ways to have fun,” advises Carolyn Hobdy, a relationship and women’s health expert.

“The more sex you have, the more you want it. Sex releases hormones that increase libido and also help overcome stress, relieve pain, strengthen pelvic floor muscles and slow the aging process If you’re not in a relationship, remember that it doesn’t always take two to tango – both men and women can masturbate,” says Marisa Peer, psychotherapist and best-selling author in psychology.

Read also: “Everything is not as you think”: a sex therapist debunked sex myths after 50

“The truth about middle age sex, especially if you’ve been together for many years, is that you shouldn’t let things take their course. It’s not so much about spontaneity as it is about planning, and a lot of communication. A good sex life takes effort – you have to know each other’s body characteristics, needs and desires,” says Carolyn.

“If you’ve been together for many years, sex can become routine. Are there things you’ve never tried in the bedroom but always wanted to try? It may be time to fulfill your erotic fantasies. Remember, the best sex in life doesn’t necessarily just happen to young people – I have clients who are a prime example of the opposite,” says sex therapist Madaline Munro.

“Nothing will change on its own. Whether you want to spark a spark in your relationship, feel better about yourself, or find a new sexual partner, it’s important to understand that it won’t happen by accident. However, don’t let the need to act overwhelm you. Pick one thing you want to change, and once you’ve mastered it, set a new goal. Global transformations can be scary, so just jump from one small win to another,” advises Carolyn.