5 things to know about your potential husband

Therefore, if you aim to create a strong and harmonious couple, figure out what is important to you, write down the points, then discuss them with your man in a calm and inviting atmosphere (but not all at once, otherwise his brain will explode). Of course, this shouldn’t be done on the third date, but after a while, when you more or less got to know each other, you became close and you feel mutually sympathetic.

How does he see a serious relationship and what does that mean to you? What is acceptable for your partner and what is categorically unacceptable in a relationship? Is it compatible with your vision? Which actions are “normal” for him, and which are not? What qualities does he want to see in his chosen one? And what kind of man do you imagine next to you? How will you spend your free time? How to deal with the issue of dissenting opinions?

Results. After hearing the answers to your questions, analyze how your positions fit together. If they are different, is it possible to achieve something in common, are you ready to sacrifice your habits for your partner, is he ready? Will you be able to adapt to her model of relationships, if such a need arises (this does not mean betraying yourself and your principles, it’s just that the feminine nature is naturally more flexible and resourceful). Or are you going to be smart and find another way out of the situation? What if the guy usually left this topic of conversation – think about it: how does he really feel about you? Perhaps he does not consider you his chosen and future wife at all. Is it worth pursuing the relationship with him in this case?

It is better to solve it in a practical way. Your goal is to find out what tasks he is used to/willing/able to perform at home? Or does he have a cleaning lady who comes twice a week and puts his house in order, while he does nothing himself? It’s very easy to check: let’s say he lives alone, you came to his house for the weekend and decided to cook a delicious dinner. Did he offer to help you? Did he say, “Leave the dishes, honey, I’ll wash them myself”? You can even arrange a mini cleanup and see the extent of the work your pick will take.

results. If a partner is happy to help you and can easily do anything around the house, then from him a good husband and father will come out, whom you can rely on. If he believes (or was raised that way) that all housework is exclusively a woman’s business, then he probably views a potential wife as a free housekeeper. So it’s worth considering: do you want to become one? Again the main idea: the partner must be ready to help you, and not think that you have to do everything by default, especially if you too are working and getting tired.

Your chosen one should definitely find out that you dream of a wedding with a beautiful white dress, a cake and a hundred guests (if you really want it, of course). Otherwise, he will think that you are content with just cohabitation without status or periodic meetings. Yes, yes, many live like this, she has been silent for years, naively believing that sooner or later he will propose to her, but he does not, because he thinks that she does not need it. The subject is obviously not easy. And here the main thing is to choose the right moment, for example, after a romantic dinner with a glass of wine, you share your plans for the future. You tell him directly that you sincerely want to build harmonious relations that will turn into family ties, you want a real family… You should speak easily and calmly so that the guy does not think you are bothered by this.

results. If he has serious intentions, he will support your plans and continue the conversation, but if he has an indefinite attitude towards you, he will quickly close this topic and not listen to you. Then you need to give him and your relationship time (not years, but months) and then try to discuss it again. If nothing has changed, he’s probably not someone who will make you happy.

In many couples, this sensitive issue only makes itself felt at the stage of living together. And if it has not been addressed so far, its clarification cannot be avoided. In principle, we immediately understand how a man manages money: he is generous, wasteful or thrifty. On the first two dates, pay attention to things like whether he left a tip at the restaurant, bought flowers, offered dessert. Yes, at first the guy probably wants to impress, but practice shows that a normal man (and not Don Juan) will initially be what he is. It also doesn’t hurt to know how he will react to the fact if you suddenly don’t work temporarily; whether he will offer financial support when he discovers that you urgently need money for something important. Or does he believe that everyone should solve their own problems, pay for their personal purchases, their whims and contribute to the general budget? Is this approach right for you?

results. If you have a certain position regarding the question of money and your partner has a completely opposite one, then you have to find some kind of common denominator or compromise, otherwise you expect regular quarrels on this basis and a dissatisfaction with relationships in the future. And if your life partner is a creative person without a stable job, can you take responsibility for replenishing the family budget?

Once you’ve gotten close enough and been dating for a really long time, it’s worth asking questions like how often does he want to have sex and what are your needs? Is it calm that today you are not in the mood or very tired? Will you be ready to take into account the wishes of your partner and, despite your fatigue, please him? You should also talk about each other’s sexual fantasies, what if they scare you and you start to treat them differently?

Results. If you’re unhappy with how/how often he has sex, talk to him about it. You just need to share what you like about sex and how many times a day/week you need it, without stressing its technique. A person who sees you in their future will find these wishes useful and important. If your partner is sexually liberated and ready for various experiences, think about it: is it interesting for you? If not (or just need time) – say so directly. A suitable guy will treat your position with respect and understanding because he values ​​you. He will wait as long as necessary, because for him it is not essential.

Text: Kira Kolosova