Australian advocate Grace Tame has detailed how her mother flew to California to save her following a mental health breakdown caused by high school teacher sexual abuse.
Speaking on the Cracking On podcast this week, the 31-year-old activist revealed that she fled Australia for the United States in 2012 at age 18, living out of an unroadworthy car, working on a marijuana farm, and abusing drugs after cutting off contact with her family.
Abuse and Relocation to America
Tame's former schoolteacher, Nicolaas Ockert Bester, was jailed in 2011 for sexually abusing her when she was a 15-year-old student at a private school in Hobart, Tasmania. Hobart is the capital city of Tasmania, an island state located off the southern coast of mainland Australia.
Following the legal proceedings, a traumatised Tame left Australia for America in 2012 as soon as she turned 18. She explained that she struggled to manage the trauma, which was still very new at the time.
"I moved to the United States when I was 18, as soon as I could leave home essentially," Tame told the podcast. "I was still sort of managing this trauma which was very new at the time."
After arriving in North America, Tame purchased a secondhand car for $1,500 in a parking lot and began driving along the California coast.
"I kind of fell apart again. I did lots of rogue things. I worked on a weed farm. I got involved in some pretty dodgy situations," Tame said. "I had all my belongings in my car that I bought for 1500 bucks in a parking lot. It was probably not roadworthy."
She recalled driving up the California coastline and sleeping wherever she could find a bed, facing ongoing personal collapse while working on a marijuana farm.
Intervention in California
The situation reached a critical point when Tame stopped communicating with her family in Australia. Her mother, Penny, became alarmed by the silence and decided to fly to the United States to locate her daughter.
"I had stopped talking to my family and my mother had that parental intuition kicking in. She actually came and rescued me," Tame explained.
Penny tracked Tame down in California, leading to a heated confrontation between mother and daughter at a petrol station, where Penny discovered Tame's collection of illicit substances.
"After a very dramatic yelling match at a petrol station, mum decided that she wouldn't turn me into the local police after finding my stash of substances," Tame said.
Penny had initially threatened to turn Tame over to local California police because of the drugs she was carrying. Instead, Penny remained in the state to help her daughter find employment and a permanent place to live.
"She should've been Australian of the Year (herself)," Tame joked on the podcast. "She's far more articulate than I am and she probably wouldn't have upset the government that much."
Impact of Trauma and Advocacy
Tame has previously spoken about how the fallout from childhood sexual abuse led her into self-harm, substance abuse, and dangerous relationships.
"Even after it's over, the effects of the abuse don't just stop. It impacts your entire life going forward, and predators know that," Tame previously told the ACCE. "I went on to abuse drugs, prescription and illegal, I drank, I cut myself, I covered myself in piercings, I dressed like someone I wasn't."
She explained that her trauma left her vulnerable to further harm after leaving Australia.
"I found myself in violent relationships and in relationships where I was again abused by older men who knew that I had been abused," Tame said. "But I have built from this, I take each day as it comes, but I am using my past trauma to educate people and shed more light."
Tame subsequently transformed her experience into national advocacy, campaigning for survivors of sexual assault across Australia. Her efforts earned her the title of 2021 Australian of the Year, an annual national award recognizing individuals who make extraordinary contributions to Australian society.
If you or someone you know requires support in Australia, Lifeline provides 24-hour crisis services on 13 11 14 or at lifeline.org.au. Reach Out offers assistance regarding addiction, and emergency services can be reached by dialing 000.
