The intention is not to gossip or advise against its use, but to invite you to reflect, so that you can actually use it to your advantage.
Do not use vibrators. That’s right: don’t use vibrators every day and all the time alone and/or in a relationship. I know this topic is very controversial and you may be wondering why a sexologist is bringing this up.
It is precisely because I am a sexologist, because I studied with serious and up-to-date professionals and, above all, because I experienced the beginning of progressive desensitization of my clitorisIn addition to receiving several messages from followers and students reporting the same, I decided to talk about how using vibrators can be bad for your sexual health.
The intention is not to speak ill of it or advise against its use. But, yes, I invite you to reflect on the subject and to encourage your knowledge of yourself, so as to effectively use these external tools in your favor.
So, if you have never used a vibrator or even if you use one frequently, this article is for all of you. If you’d rather check out my full lesson on using vibrators, press play:
And speaking of self-knowledge, you can dive into your own universe of sexuality and pleasure with the Sex Map (Free Sample)an astrological analysis of how you experience sex.
What is a vibrator for?
Before I get into the real thinking, I want to clarify: the vibrator has its place for many women, both to explore and learn about their bodies, and to help them climax.
The vibrator can be the beginning of a connection with yourself. It is an external tool that can help awaken some numbness and sensitivity in the clitoral region, which is a woman’s great pleasure sensor.
Since the vibrator is powerful, it goes without saying that it will naturally quickly activate this sensor. Many women tell me that they have had their first orgasm with a vibrator, also because they have not learned to touch and stimulate themselves, much less to truly open up within the emotional relationship.
However, this use without self-knowledge can, over time, lead to dangerous pitfalls.
What nobody says about using vibrators
1. The vibrator can desensitize the clitoris
The vibrator can, yes, desensitize the clitoris, and that’s where the danger lies: it’s progressive desensitization.
Many women who try the vibrator for the first time, depending on how little sensitized their clitoris is, report not feeling much with the lowest power vibrator equipment. Thus, many already start with a power above to feel something.
And then, after a while, they start to feel the need to increase the potency even more… And over time, only maximum intensity will bring you to orgasm. This is why many vibrator companies have launched vibrators with more and more power.
But then, when there’s nothing more powerful, what happens? Your clitoris ends up desensitizing. Besides, maybe you can no longer stimulate yourself with just your fingers, or feel pleasure when you are touched or when you perform oral sex. After all, the vibrator has a totally different power and constancy from a finger or a tongue. And the subtle and well-made touch is no longer “pretty”.
In comparison, it’s like coffee: there comes a time when, after making so much use of this external stimulant, the caffeine no longer has an effect and you always have to drink more and more cups.
If you want, learn more about female masturbation herebenefits and how to do it.
2. The vibrator may be used incorrectly
Nobody talks about it much, but there are correct ways to use the vibrator. When we don’t know how to touch ourselves, we will probably also use the vibrator (and even our fingers) incorrectly.
The right thing is to put the glans of the clitoris “out”. However, many women and their peers continue to push the clitoris in and use more force than necessary. With that, it is no longer sensitive. That’s why you need to stimulate on the sides of the clitoris, not directly on the glans. Watch the video with step-by-step use of the vibrator here.
3. The vibrator (if used improperly) can disconnect you from yourself
We women are already living in a world where we feed our own Excessive masculine energy/Yang (see here), being too connected mentally, doing and doing and doing, with no breaks and no connection to our body and what we feel, and where we end up at the end of the day overloaded… All of this keeps disconnecting us from ourselves, from our own body, and consequently of our sexuality.
All this makes it increasingly difficult for us to get excited, to stimulate our body and to connect with our pleasure in a subtle way, because for this we need to slow down the accelerated pace, feel, breathe…
And then comes the challenge and standard that many women have accepted in this commercial for using vibrators: “I need to unwind from so much overload, so let me grab my vibrator now to get there fast and relax.”
But when we use this external tool very often, the body gets used to this stimulus impostor AND quick pleasure (quick pleasure, in English). But over time, our body and our feelings become even more anesthetized and it becomes more and more difficult for us to connect and enjoy the pleasure in a subtle way.
4. Vibrators don’t mean fast food orgasms
We need to understand that before reaching orgasm, with or without a vibrator, we need to stimulate our entire body, which has erogenous zones, to create greater connection and give us the time we need to get excited.
The vibrator cannot be synonymous with a quick orgasm. It shouldn’t be used all the time, as this movement hides a lack of self-care with the most basic needs not being met as we mentioned above. This is neither healthy nor sustainable.
5. The vibrator does not replace the other person
I want to propose a reflection: see that the erotic toys are they made every time so that we don’t need another person, we don’t demand too much of our time, they keep us in check and without having to really treat ourselves?
But childbirth is the most important and fundamental thing about sex. Exchange is our ability to completely and completely let go of our control and indulge in exchange with the other. If you truly allow yourself to relax and experience pleasure.
No vibrator replaces sex with someone else. The vibrator can be used in your favor, yes, as a tool of self-knowledge and as a novelty, but occasionally. And with their partner when they feel the need to experience different sensations. But the vibrator can not be the rule to reach orgasm. And, yes, the exception.
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Malu Paes Leme (malupaesleme@gmail.com)
– Malu Paes Leme is a body analyst, mentor, trained in menstrual therapy and sexologist (in training). She conducts online and one-on-one consultations and offers mentorship in her courses and journeys into self-knowledge of the female body, which is cyclical and orgasmic, and which enables women to live with more self-confidence, autonomy and personal power.
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
