You need to avoid these phrases and know how to deal with those who use them without realizing how narcissistic they are.
The world is full of difficult personalities, but there is one that is impossible to avoid: the narcissist. They are usually the most insecure people around, but they manage to seem ultra-confident.
And this is where the psychologist who studies narcissism comes in, Ramani Durvasula, writer and professor of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles and founder of LUNA Education. She is the author of books such as “You don’t know who I am: how to stay sane in the age of narcissism, entitlement and incivility”. and incivility”) and “Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist”.
“I have found that, in most cases, highly narcissistic people are master manipulators. Their main goal in a relationship is to compensate for their insecurity by controlling and manipulating others,” she said.
Here are six phrases they use all the time and how to handle them:
1. “I don’t want to talk about myself, but…”
Statements like this show that narcissistic people know they shouldn’t dominate the conversation, yet they do it anyway.
How to handle it: “If you strike up a conversation with a narcissist, be prepared for their story time. If they’re interesting, listen. You can even treat it like a live podcast. But if you’re expecting a two-way conversation, look elsewhere.” says Ramani Durvasula.
two. “I’m sorry you feel this way”
Narcissists have a hard time admitting guilt, and this is their classic attempt at an apology. But it’s actually more of a distraction. With this phrase, they are indicating that their feelings are just their problems and that they will not take responsibility for their behavior.
How to deal with it: “Without real remorse, no matter what the wrongdoing was, chances are they’ll do it again. My advice is just to disengage. To avoid being hurt in the future, it’s often best to see people for what they are.” they really are.” , says the expert.
3. “Why are you doing this to me?”
The narcissist has an impressive ability to turn a situation around and transform from abuser to victim.
How to cope: “You can regain control of the situation through self-awareness. If you don’t, you’ll end up thinking you really are at fault. Seek support, from a therapist if you need it, to remind yourself that you’re not you the aggressor”.
4. “I’m a busy person. I don’t have time for this”
“It” could be anything: Maybe you want to discuss a project you’re working on together or you’re inviting them to a work event. The characteristics of a narcissist are arrogance, a lack of empathy, and an inability to relate to one another. Not only are they unable to understand another person’s needs, they ignore them.
Coping: “Recognize your limitations. Chances are they won’t make time for you unless they need something. These relationships are often the equivalent of going to an empty well for water, so do what you can to look up the independent support of the narcissist” , says the specialist.
5. “I hope you know who you’re messing with”
Or it could also be, “If you cheat on me, I’ll make your life hell.” This tactic of threat and the possibility of revenge is how they create an illusion of power and a sense of fear in you. Most people don’t want to deal with this perceived threat, so they give up.
How to deal with: “This can be upsetting, especially if you’re dealing with someone who has a history of making other people’s lives truly miserable. Save all threatening emails and messages. If there’s a real security problem , let the police know” .
6. “It’s not right”
Narcissists believe there should be one set of rules for them and a separate set of rules for everyone else. Whether it’s because a friend’s company is doing great and making a lot of money or has to pay a penalty because he tried to cheat the system and got caught, you can expect an “it’s not fair” affirmative speech.
How to cope: “You may be tempted to appease them, perhaps out of guilt or to avoid conflict. But by doing so, you will set an impossible precedent. Don’t try to be someone who tries to make life ‘just’ for them by making unreasonable personal sacrifices,” says Ramani Durvasula.
Source: CNBC / Adapted from Homework Writing
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
