Jeong, the ancient Korean concept that can help you be happier

Jeong, the ancient Korean concept that can help you be happier


It is described as a mental state of warmth, deep emotional attachment and compassion for people who share common bonds and the innate desire to do something for others.

It is described as a mental state of warmth, deep emotional attachment and compassion for people who share common bonds and the innate desire to do something for others.

This is “jeong”, a concept that has been an integral part of South Korean culture and society for more than 2 thousand years.

Certainly many people have felt something similar, especially those who belong to non-Western cultures or who have not yet been consumed by the industrialized world. But it’s not an easy concept to describe verbally.

– Why South Korea has the highest suicide rate among developed countries

– Why the two Koreas are still technically at war, 70 years after the ceasefire agreement

– Why South Korea pays young prisoners to leave home

“It’s something you don’t learn. It’s ingrained and comes from lived experience. You can learn the rules, but it’s more intuitive than anything else,” said Jihee Cho, a New York psychologist and co-founder of Mind in Motion Psychological Therapy, on BBC News Mundo, the BBC’s service in Spanish.

While we recognize that similar attitudes towards “jeong” exist in other cultures, the concept is unique, uniquely Korean, based on the idea of ​​collective social responsibility.




South Korea’s Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism describes it this way: “A warm feeling of love, affinity, compassion and bonding between people who share an emotional and psychological bond.”

However, Cho adds that it’s not just between people. “It could be a bond with objects, places, pets. Anything you can develop a bond with.”

Jihee Cho was born in South Korea, where she grew up and lived until the age of 13. Her family had lived in the same neighborhood for 30 years. It was a community where everyone knew each other, not only the families who lived there, but the owners of the businesses and shops, bars and restaurants.

“They asked me how I was, how I was going at school. Everyone knew that my mother worked and if I needed something they gave it to me without having to pay. Knowing without thinking twice that my parents would pay later is part of this feeling of familiarity “, explains De Jeong.

In Korean culture, people close to us are called “uncles” and “aunts”. Furthermore, when they refer to mothers, they do not say “my mother”, but “our mother”.

After moving to the United States, where he studied, obtained his doctorate and opened his studio in New York, Cho has not forgotten the practice of “jeong”, especially in large cities, where society is increasingly fragmented and individualistic.

From the beginning she remained close to two or three families with whom she lived. They saw each other at church and did activities together.

Several women became pregnant at the same time and shared their experiences. “Through our experiences with each other, we know a lot about ourselves and our families,” she said.

More than just kindness

Two years ago, her father died suddenly during the pandemic, and she had to urgently travel to South Korea. It was a critical moment when her friends expressed the “jeong” attitude again.

“Without needing further explanation, they immediately got involved in the situation. A friend of mine prepared breakfast for my baby, another family brought things my husband might need, they came on weekends to accompany him. This it is an example of how it is practiced,” he says.

It can be seen as a simple act of kindness, but Cho says it’s more about intuitively knowing what a person might need in difficult times. This goes beyond being a good neighbor or being supportive, it means truly caring about the other person.

“It’s active involvement, genuine, ongoing interaction. A genuine curiosity about someone’s well-being,” he adds.

But it doesn’t only express itself in times of difficulty. It can also happen in positive, joyful moments. “If someone receives good news, we are happy too. We participate collectively.”

Collective sacrifice

This idea of ​​community is the basis of “jeong,” which can extend beyond the family and community sphere, encompassing the workplace and the identity of the nation.

Regarding the latter, Cho recalls two crucial events for South Korea that occurred in 1998.

One of these was the deep financial crisis that the country went through when faced with the payment of billions of dollars of debt to the International Monetary Fund (IMF).

The government has started a massive media campaign asking its citizens to donate their gold items to raise enough precious metals to help pay off the debt. Thousands of people came to deliver rings, necklaces, watches and other clothing.

“Who would do that? Why would you donate your gold, which is your asset?” he asks. “But it was a great moment. A movement of national sacrifice with which the difficulty was overcome.”

Ten years earlier, there was another “national jeong” moment, namely Seoul’s bid to host the Olympic Games. The South Koreans had to work hard to achieve this goal.

“But it wasn’t the country’s goal,” Cho insists, “it was everyone’s goal, because we all share our attachment to the nation.”

Against the isolation of the big city

The psychologist specializes in depression, anxiety and personal relationships. These are aspects of mental health that are affected by life in New York, where he has his practice.

The city can be very isolating, he says, and if people don’t leave their bubble, it becomes very difficult to create and maintain relationships. Many of your patients may become depressed and begin to become self-centered. This is when Cho applies the concept of “jeong”.

“Part of my job as a therapist is not to tell them what to do, but to guide them to find a starting point for what they can do,” she explains. “We talk about how they can create their own communities, find like-minded people and develop relationships.”

This implementation of “jeong” is a small start. In fact, we must share it without expecting anything in return and not miss the opportunity to practice it. “Then go ahead, give him a chance, get to know the person, go out for lunch, send him a message asking how he is and see if he wants to get to know you more”, he suggests to patients.

Stating that those who offer “jeong” benefit more than those who receive it, he warns of the necessary reciprocity. Too much one-sided “jeong” can damage a relationship, she says.

“The person who receives a lot of ‘jeong’ may feel overwhelmed. There must be an intuitive balance with the person you share it with.”

Although such a deeply personal concept cannot be measured scientifically, there are many expressions in the South Korean language that give value to the concept.

“Saying you don’t have ‘jeong’ means you don’t have appreciation for someone,” the psychologist says. “When you start a relationship, you are ‘cultivating’ the ‘jeong,’ but if it starts to falter, you are ‘withdrawing’ the ‘jeong’.”

Latin style “Jeong”.

Despite this ancient tradition, modern South Korea has become a highly competitive society, where its citizens live under constant pressure to improve, obtain the best professional qualifications and the best jobs at any cost.

As a result, the population is overworked, stressed and sleep deprived. This has led to an epidemic of stimulant addiction and even suicide.

“What I’ve noticed over time is that individualism has taken over,” says Cho. “In the past there was a tendency towards collectivity. Now, perhaps with globalization and the Internet, we are becoming more selfish.”

Interestingly, while the level of “jeong” may be declining in her home country, the therapist identified a similar sentiment among other migrant communities in New York, particularly Latinos.

“Latinos are collective, they tend to live in the same places,” he says. “In my experience with my Latino clients, I see that they tend to call people they feel close to ‘tío’ or ‘tía.’ “Sometimes it’s difficult to know if they are actually family or close friends.”

For example, Cho recalls a patient who attended sessions accompanied by her grandmother. After the session began, the elderly woman came back again to see if she was hungry.

“This is a way of expressing ‘jeong’. I don’t know if there is such a word in the Latino community, but it’s very similar,” he concludes.

Source: Terra

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