A happy couple may have a number of imperfections, but learn to contemplate the differences between them.
A year has just begun and many people have included among their resolutions for this new period, that of improving or even ending their romantic relationship. However, this is not a simple task. And the doubts that always accompany the decision-making process are: “is it worth continuing to try?”; “What if I regret finishing it?” If this is your case, clinical and educational sexologist Bárbara Bastos reminds us that a happy couple does not mean a “perfect couple”, especially because there is no such thing as perfection in relationships.
In other words, a happy couple may have a number of imperfections, but they learn every day to contemplate the differences between them. Plus, work together to create a special relationship. In other words, having a great relationship, as they say, “has never been a matter of luck, but of work.” It’s not something that just happens: it takes commitment and attention to walk and evolve in such a way that both remain satisfied and complete.
“We see couples who are on the brink of separation, but end up rediscovering each other in a matter of weeks, simply by making subtle and effective changes to their daily habits,” the expert emphasizes. He says this isn’t surprising, though, given that once these couples get together, their new relationship habits become second nature to them. “Whoever is a spectator can witness their public displays of affection and joy, but he does not know the reasons that led the couple to be what they were years ago”, he adds.
Below, Bárbara cites 11 habits that couples should cultivate to have a quality relationship:
1-Give up certain things for the other: Intimate connections are linked to true love, and this involves attention, awareness, discipline, commitment and the ability to sacrifice a little, every day. Many times, one or the other will have to do things that they don’t like or don’t want to do, but they will do it anyway, just for the simple fact of wanting to please and see the other happy.
2-Accept yourself, first of all: Disappointments in relation to your partner often reflect your acceptance of yourself. So, the first step to having a healthy relationship with someone is to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
3-Admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness: Apologizing after an argument is essential to any relationship. A simple and sincere “I’m sorry” demonstrates humility and opens a door to reconciliation. Everyone makes mistakes, but the important thing is to admit it and try to fix it. If your relationship means a lot to you, be mature, ask for forgiveness and speak up. Preferably both in a calm manner, so that the problem that led to the discussion can be resolved.
4-Exercise patience every day: You may step on someone else’s toes from time to time, even if you don’t mean to. And this is why patience must be exercised daily, every time one gets angry with another, especially if someone gets angry for a trivial reason. Over time, the ability to tolerate the little habits that bother you will become so natural that they become a laughing matter.
5-Express thoughts and feelings: share, provide the necessary information instead of expecting the other person to know what you are thinking. Remember that euphemism always causes great damage. Most problems in a relationship, big or small, start with poor communication.
6-External influences: Don’t let something from the outside drive your relationship. If you have a problem with your partner, solve it with him, without third party intervention. The couple needs to live their own experiences, follow their own path. Each of us has a flame in our heart lit by that person and no one can interfere with it. It is our duty, and ours alone, to decide to keep it lit. If you and your partner agree, it’s worth working together.
7-Intimacy is not just sex: Intimacy, fundamental to a healthy relationship, is not limited to sex. Intimacy is what makes relationships last and requires honest communication and openness about worries, fears, and sadness, as well as hopes, dreams, and happiness.
8-Do not try to change others: We often try to sculpt in others the image of what we would like them to be. But the attempt always ends in disappointment, because you cannot fit the other person’s painting into your frame. The biggest danger in trying this is to focus too much on your own fantasies and therefore ignore the pure and true beauty hidden behind someone else’s imperfections. So save your relationship from unnecessary stress. Instead of trying to change the other person, accept them as they are and give them all the support they need to grow with you.
9 book moments alone: If you neglect your relationship, your relationship will neglect you. With busy schedules, we forget to take time to enjoy the amazing company we have. In relationships, distance is not measured in meters, but in the absence of affection. Two people can stand side by side, but deep down they are miles away from affection and attention. Therefore, do not ignore the person you love, because indifference is a silent poison for any couple.
10-Respect their individuality and yours: Even if we are a couple we must never forget that we are talking about two people, each with their own particularities, their own interests, their own individual world. Hence the importance of respecting other people’s space. If you know that your partner likes to be alone every now and then, reading a book in the garden, avoid disturbing him. Likewise, being married doesn’t mean you have to put aside monthly meeting with friends. Respecting the individuality of others is fundamental in every relationship.
11-No comparison: Never compare your relationship to someone else’s. Each couple establishes their own rules, agreements, contracts and has their own love habits. Just focus on the fact that a couple is made up of two parts that, by nature, are imperfect. Keep in mind that all relationships have their ups and downs – no couple lives happily ever after, and that’s natural. Working together, especially in the most difficult times, will further strengthen your relationship.
“Many of our attitudes, both as couples and as individuals, happen on autopilot, based on our habits. Therefore, it is possible to have a healthy and happy love life, simply by changing what we choose to do and be every day,” concludes the sexologist.
Source: Barbara Bastos, clinical and educational sexologist at Phasex (Family and Sexuality); post-graduate student in Human Sexuality at the Child Behavior Institute of Miami; specialist in Cognitive Sexual Therapy and partner of the erotic boutique Désir Atelier.
Source: Terra
Ben Stock is a lifestyle journalist and author at Gossipify. He writes about topics such as health, wellness, travel, food and home decor. He provides practical advice and inspiration to improve well-being, keeps readers up to date with latest lifestyle news and trends, known for his engaging writing style, in-depth analysis and unique perspectives.
