What feminists think of men: says Ekaterina Popova

In fact, this question, of course, is rhetorical, because before you have time to insert even a word, the asker manages to come up with ten answers himself: you were not married , you are frigid, you had a psychotrauma in childhood, you are not popular among men, your boyfriend left you, you are a lesbian. There’s no point in continuing the conversation after that, which is why so few people know that feminists don’t really hate men.

I’m going to tell you a terrible secret: feminists have a very good opinion of men. Very often, they value them much more than the men themselves value themselves.

Feminists believe that men cannot rape women no matter how they dress or where they go. Feminists believe that men are quite capable of living by reason, and not by languor in the groin, and that they do not need sex without consent, and a woman for them is not not a complex living accessory for onanism, but a partner whose intention is as important as the desire of the man himself. Contrary to polls where 8 out of 10 men say sex against a woman’s will is okay if she’s your wife or girlfriend, we never cease to hope that the “strong half” of humanity is capable of deprive of pleasure if it is not reciprocated. Some of us are so radical that we talk about how some men feel guilty and ashamed when they find out they’ve had sex without desire or pleasure.

Feminists believe that fathers are just as capable of nurturing and nurturing children as mothers, and that a man can learn to take care of his child, just as a woman should, who is not born with this knowledge written in her brain, as some sometimes claim, who skipped science and biology classes in school. No matter how much we hear that the essence of men is to fertilize and dissolve into the night in search of a new wife, no matter how much we read divorced husbands’ explanations that children become “ex” with their wives, we continue to affirm: men are capable of loving their children all their lives and always staying close to them.

Feminists believe that men are able to see in a woman not just a hybrid of a food processor and a sex toy in bed. Despite all the profiles on Tinder about “You are no more than 25, no more than 55 kg, with breasts of the third size, you know how to cook Italian, European and Russian cuisine, you do not suffer headache”, we continue to believe that men are able to understand that a loved one is not a servant, but a reliable companion and an equal partner in everything. And we hope men can be like that too – and even divorce statistics and pretentious questionnaires have only shaken, but not broken, our faith.

Feminists believe that men are capable of doing what is right, even if it is disadvantageous to them. In a video from the Norwegian association Finansforbundet, girls and boys who, on the instructions of adults, collected balloons together, received different rewards: boys – a glass full of sweets, girls – half. Seven-year-olds took candy out of their glasses and gave it to their partners to restore justice – and we hope these boys, willing to share honestly, will live on in men’s lives.

Feminists believe that men can count and, after comparing the size of their salary and that of their wife, they are able to conclude that for a long time there were no “getters” who “support everyone », but there are two equal partners, making more or less the same contribution to the family budget and therefore deciding together how to manage it. Feminists are surprised every time they hear that successful relationships with the “stronger sex” consist of manipulation, trickery, flattery and deception – they think men deserve to be spoken to directly.

Feminists also have no doubt that men hear and understand human language well and are able to correctly interpret the word “no” as “enough, stop, stop, enough.” Feminists even suspect that men are creative and smart enough to offer more inventive and sweet compliments than “nice butt” (which basically amounts to a man willingly seeing that butt in bed – average bonus for a woman).

Feminists hope that men are smart enough not to consider the saying “it’s strength that a wife loves her husband” – nothing more than sayings, and each person succeeds with their own hard work and effort. No one should be someone else’s muse; in union, we must support and inspire each other. The women who make their husbands a millionaire through their admiration are as much fiction as a genius who grants three wishes.

Feminists believe that every man can understand that the gender roles imposed on us can sometimes help, but often hinder. Boys don’t cry, a real man is on his own – it’s high time to leave all those stereotypes in the past. Everyone has the right to feel, and there’s nothing wrong with going through adversity with the support of friends or with the help of a therapist.

Can any of the above be considered hate? Much more, it’s what the men themselves say about themselves: that they can’t stop if they want to have sex; that they are not interested in friendship and communication with women, and when a girl is sure that she has a friend, he hopes to either drag her to bed or keep her as an alternate airfield; that the children cease to be their family as soon as they disappear from their sight; that a woman be taken from the village at the age of 18 and made for herself. I would like to say: shut up, enough is enough, you are discrediting yourself in a way that the most radical feminist has never dreamed of.

The worst thing feminists think of men is that they have free will. And if they rape, leave sick kids, or just lie on the couch while the wife cooks dinner and licks the house, it’s not because men are so ‘natural’, but because it’s is their choice.

Photo: Shutterstock